


Friends Remixed

by JudyRae1982



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: F/M, Romance and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudyRae1982/pseuds/JudyRae1982
Summary: This story is set in the early 2000's "remixed" with the pairings I would have put together in a sort of alternate universe Friends. This story is mainly about Joey and Phoebe's road to meeting and falling in love sometimes smoothly, but also with a lot of bumps in the road along the way. The other characters and couples will have side story lines as well. Other couples eventually will include: Chandler and Janice. Monica and Richard. Rachel and Ross. This is just chapter one, but more will be coming soon!
Relationships: Chandler Bing/Janice Litman, Phoebe Buffay & Joey Tribbiani, Richard Burke/Monica Geller, Ross Geller/Rachel Green
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Friends Remixed:  
The One Where Joey and Phoebe Meet.

“I can’t believe Guy moved out. He was the perfect roommate for you. He kept to himself, didn’t bother anyone, and wasn’t here half the time. It was like you got to live alone and still have someone pay half your rent for you,” Phoebe Buffy said to her best friend Chandler Bing as she lay sprawled out on his couch.  
Chandler sat down on the chair next to the couch. “I’m actually kind of glad he got transferred to LA. I found myself getting kind of lonely. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want someone who is going to be in my face all the time, and I still want someone who will give me privacy when I need it, but I’d at least like to be friends with this one. Guy was always at the publishing office late, reading over manuscripts. The few times he was home, he’d lock himself away in his bedroom and read them in there, only taking a break to go to the bathroom, shower, and eat. Heck, even when he ate, he ate—”  
“In his bedroom,” Phoebe finished with him. “Why are you lonely anyway? You have me.” She sat up straight, reached over, and gently poked him in the thigh with her finger.  
Chandler smirked. “I know, but no offense, Phoebes, I need a guy in my life too.”  
Phoebe perked up. “Chandler! How come you never told me you prefer men?” She slapped his thigh in a friendly manner, excited for her friend. “Oh my gosh, I always expected, but I never quite knew for sure. I wish you had told me sooner! I have so many men I can hook you up with. Some of them I know are good because I used to date them, but don’t worry, they swing both ways.”  
Chandler looked at her as if she had just said she was an alien from outer space. “Phoebes, I’m not gay. I meant, I want a fellow man in my life to hang out with and do manly things with.”  
Phoebe laughed. “You and manly don’t really strike me as two things that go together.”  
Chandler glared at her.  
“Relax! I was only joking. Fine. We’ll look for someone manly for you today then.” She put on a manly voice as she said the word “manly” as if to mock him.  
Chandler ignored her mocking tone. “The first applicant should be here any minute now, and there are four more after him, so hopefully we’ll find the right one today.”  
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door.  
“Here’s my potential new roommate now!” Chandler said opening the door to a guy who looked more like a teenager than an adult. He had a bright blue spiky Mohawk, a ring in his nose, ripped black jeans, black Converse high-tops, and a shirt that read, Death to Losers in blood red, dripping font.  
“W’sup?” he asked with a nod of his head toward Chandler. “I’m Chad.” He stepped right in without Chandler inviting him in. “Who’s the babe?” he asked, side-nodding at Phoebe upon noticing her on the couch. He turned to Chandler and grinned. “Will she be living with us too? If so, I don’t mind sharing a bedroom with her.” He wriggled his eyebrows up and down at Phoebe and licked his lips. “Or even a bed.”  
Phoebe wrinkled her nose and stood up in disgust. “Ew, you Creep! What are you? Like fifteen?”  
His eyes narrowed at her. “Seventeen. I got emancipated from my parents and now I need a new place to live.”  
“I’m sorry, but it’s not going to be here. I was looking for someone a little older,” Chandler said to him.  
“That’s age discrimination, Man!” Chad accused.  
“No, it’s just a kind way of saying he doesn’t want a creepy little freakish pervert living with him! Now get the hell out and go live with your stoner friends or something!” Phoebe snapped, jumping off the couch, and pushing him out the door.  
He grinned. “I like my women feisty! Can I call you sometime, Baby?”  
“No, you may not, not get out of here now!” Phoebe snapped; fed up with him.  
“Wait. How do you know I have stoner friends?” he asked.  
Phoebe looked like she was about to shoot fire out of her eyes.  
“I’m going, I’m going! Sheesh! My even mother is less of a drag than you!” He took off, and Phoebe slammed the door. “Next!”  
“Wow, Phoebes, I’ve never seen that side of you before. Way to go!” Chandler said, visibly impressed.  
Phoebe shrugged. “When you live on the streets for a while like I did, you learn real fast how to be tough. You’ll be eaten alive if you’re not.”  
Chandler placed a hand over her shoulder. “Well, I for one am glad you’re here to help me today, because unlike you, I like to avoid confrontation at all costs.”  
Before Phoebe could respond, there was another knock at the door.  
“That better be the next potential roommate and not that punk ass kid!” Phoebe said, getting ready for a throw down.  
“I doubt he’d have the nerve after the look you just gave him,” Chandler said, opening the door.  
He was surprised to see a female at the door. She looked to be in her mid-thirties. “Hello, I’m Rebecca.” She shook his hand.  
Chandler smiled at her. Well this was better already! He shook her hand. “It’s very nice to meet you, Rebecca.”  
Rebecca and Phoebe greeted each other as Chandler admired her. She was average looking, but she had a nice body. She had long brown hair down to her waist, skinny jeans, black flats, and a hot pink crop top that he liked very much on her. “I have to say. I was expecting a male roommate though. I don’t remember a female calling for an appointment.”  
“That’s because I’m checking the place out for my father, Tom. He’s eighty-nine, but he’s still very much with it. Even so, I’d feel much better if he lived with someone who can look after him. I just can’t do it anymore now that I’m getting married and with his kids and mine, plus twins on the way, there’s simply no room for him. He refuses to go to a home, and insists he wants his own place. He finally agreed to a roommate if the place looked nice enough. He had an IBS attack today, so that’s why I’m here checking the place out instead of him. He gets gassy if he doesn’t watch what he eats and sometimes has to spend a long period of time in the bathroom, but other than that, I assure you he is no problem at all,” Rebecca explained.  
Phoebe covered her mouth to stifle a giggle, and Chandler sighed. It was starting to look like finding a new roommate wasn’t going to be as easy as he had hoped it would be!

***

Joey Tribbiani was looking forward to his date with a hot stewardess he had met on the flight from LA back to New York. He had guest starred on an episode of SVU. It was just one quick scene for all of two minutes and three lines, but of course he liked to play it up to anyone would listen as a lot longer and more serious of a role than it actually was. Anyway, it wasn’t a bad trip. He got to add one more thing to his resume, enjoy the California girls, and then end the trip by hooking up with a hot, big-chested blonde stewardess in first class on the way back. He had a date with her tonight, which he was super excited for. They were going to go to his favorite restaurant, then come back to his place for part two of what had happened on the plane.  
“Joey, I do not like all these women you bring up to your room. I’ve had several complains about the noise level lately,” the landlord said as soon as he walked into his building. There were no welcome back wishes, and no inquires about how his gig went. There was only her ugly face scowling at him. She was a heavily overweight woman with brown curly hair, many wrinkles, an ugly mole on her cheek, and a scowl permanently embedded onto her face. She had about five Chihuahuas that were the yappiest dogs he had ever heard, yet she was talking about him making too much noise?  
“Yeah, yeah, I know. The walls are paper thin and I have to be considerate of the other people in the building,” Joey said. He had heard it all before. “But what about you with those yapping idiots you have? Do you ever consider muzzling them?” He liked dogs. He really did, but hypocrisy was hypocrisy.  
She sneered at him. “I own the building, and I’m the landlord. I can do whatever the hell I want. The rules don’t apply to me. And my babies are not idiots! One more crack like that and you’re out of here!” She held her head high in defiance as if he was suddenly going to beg her to let him stay.  
“Yeah, well it’s too late to kick me out! I’m moving. I can’t stand looking at your ugly face anymore!” Joey covered his mouth. He hadn’t meant for it to come out that rude, but it just kind of slipped out. He also hadn’t planned on telling her he was moving until he actually had a place to live.  
She grinned evilly at him. “I understand, Joey. You know what? I won’t even make you give me two weeks’ notice.” Her smiled turned into an angry frown, and her eyes narrowed to match it. “I want you out of here by tomorrow.”  
Joey shrank back a bit. Tomorrow? He didn’t even have a new place to live yet! He coughed. “Well I uh… I’ll need some time to get all my things packed.”  
“I’m sure you’ll manage,” she said with a shrug. Joey realized he didn’t even know her name. He always just secretly called her Elvira.  
He swallowed hard. “Elvi— Miss Landlord, Lady, I uh… When I said I was moving, I didn’t mean like right now. I still have to find a place to live.”  
“Not my problem. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for my babies to have their din din.” She turned on her heels and went back into her apartment, shutting the door in his face.  
Joey sighed. The apartment he was checking out tonight was his only prospect. If he didn’t get it, he was going to be screwed—and not in the way that he usually preferred to be.

***

The next two options were just as bad as the first two. There was a guy named Todd who had a list of demands for Chandler as if Chandler were the one wanting to move in with him and not the other way around. Chandler was to have no pets in the apartment. There was to be no peanuts or peanut butter of any kind anywhere in the apartment. No flowers could be anywhere in the apartment. Todd was highly allergic to it all. He didn’t even want Chandler wearing a cologne. Yes, he was allergic to that too. Todd also didn’t want Chandler bringing any ladies home, for it made him feel uncomfortable. Needless to say, Chandler politely turned him down.  
“What a nerd!” Phoebe said with a snort once he had gone.  
“That would be the day I’d let someone other than my landlord tell me what I can and cannot have in my own apartment!” Chandler said as he shut the door.  
Phoebe snorted. “You don’t even let your landlord tell you what you can and cannot do.”  
Chandler laughed. “True.”  
The fourth roommate option was Charlie, who came with his girlfriend Jill. Apparently, Charlie planned on them both moving in.  
“Do you mind if I burn some sage?” Jill asked as she took a bound bunch of sage out of her backpack. She searched in it for a lighter. “I like to first get rid of any negative energy before I move in to anywhere new.”  
“I’m sorry, but I was only looking for one roommate, and preferably a male. I don’t think this is going to work out, and I would hate to waste your time,” Chandler said politely to her.  
“At least let her cleanse the place. After all the weirdos we’ve seen here today, the place could probably use it!” Phoebe quipped.  
“I think it will be just fine without the sage. Thank you any way though, and good luck on your apartment hunting!” Chandler said, gently ushering the couple out.  
“Suit yourself! But if you ever need some bad energy removed, call us.” Charley slipped him a business card for “Ghost Busters in the City”. “I’m a big fan of Ghost Busters, and my girlfriend is a huge Sex and the City fan, so we combined the two names for our business,” Charlie explained. He grinned at Chandler. “We’re in the ghost busting business.”  
“We made it ‘in’ the city instead of ‘and’ the city because it made more sense,” Jill explained. “Plus a lot of people think the show is called ‘Sex in the City’ anyway.”  
“That’s great. I’ll definitely call you if I ever need you. You have a good day now.” Chandler practically pushed them out the door, and locked the door behind him.  
“Tell all your friends about us!” Charlie called out before they finally left.  
“Fat chance, Freaks!” Chandler muttered.  
“I don’t know, I thought they were charming,” Phoebe teased.  
Chandler shot her a look. “Yeah, right!” He then turned serious. “Getting a little off topic, when you said earlier that you always expected I was gay, why is that? I’m so the opposite of gay! What is it about me that gives off those vibes?”  
Phoebe winced. “Uh…” She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She wished she hadn’t told him that, but that was when she actually thought he was admitting to being gay. “You know what? I’m starved! Do you want me to get dinner?” Phoebe asked trying to change the subject, getting up off the couch. Mike has to work late, so he and I won’t be eating dinner together. It always sucks to eat alone.”  
“Sure, but I have one more person coming first.” Chandler looked at the name he had written down. “His name is Joey Tribbiani. He’s my last hope, but after the weirdos I’ve seen today, I’m not counting on him being any better than the rest.” As if on cue, he got a call.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, Chandler, this is Joey Tribbiani. I’m running about an hour late. I’m so sorry. I’ll be there in no later than an hour though. Is that all right?”  
Chandler sighed. Well this prospect wasn’t looking good already, but he was desperate so… “That’s fine. I’ll see you then.”  
“Thanks! I’m on my way now.”  
Chandler hung up the phone. “He’s going to be an hour late. Can we just order dinner in? Miss Congeniality is on tonight and I don’t want to miss it!”  
Phoebe placed a hand over his shoulder. “It’s that kind of thing, Chandler. It’s that kind of thing that makes me think you’re gay.”  
Chandler rolled his eyes. “A straight man can like chic flicks without being gay. What woman doesn’t want a man who will watch chic flicks with her without complaint?”  
Phoebe nodded. “You make a good point. How about Warnemonts? I could really go for one of their veggie burgers and sweet potato fries.”  
Chandler rolled his eyes at her. “Of all the places to eat in the city, you had to pick the one place that doesn’t deliver.”  
Phoebe rolled her eyes right back at him. “Relax! I’ll pick it up. I’ll even pick you up a cheeseburger pizza from Pete’s right next door to Warnemonts.”  
Chandler smiled. “Garlic knots too?”  
Phoebe nodded.  
Chandler handed her a twenty. “Get a medium pizza. I like when there’s leftovers.”  
Phoebe pouted. “Hey! I’m doing all the work of going to get it. You’re not going to pay for mine too, you cheapskate?”  
Chandler shot her a look, but dug into his wallet for another twenty.  
He handed it to her. “Come right back after.”  
“You got it! I’ll be back shortly.” Phoebe then left to get the food.  
Chandler sighed, then sat down on the couch. He hoped Joey wasn’t any later than he said he would be. He didn’t want to miss any of the movie!

***

Joey wanted to scream. First, he stepped in one of the landlord’s yappy Chihuahua’s turds outside, then had to carry his shoe back inside, wash it, then head back out. Then he got on the wrong subway by accident and had to practically shove an old lady out of the way so that he could get on the subway he needed before it left. If he missed that one, he would have been more than an hour late. The old bag had give him a look to kill, but she had her walker to catch her fall. He didn’t know what the big deal was. Even so, he was happy she wasn’t on the same subway he was.  
He finally arrived at Chandler’s apartment and knocked on the door.  
A guy who looked to be around his mid-thirties, as he was, opened the door. He was a fairly decent looking dude, and seemed like he could possibly be kind of cool.  
Joey stuck out his hand. “Chandler Bing? Hi, I’m Joey Tribbiani. So sorry I’m late.”  
“No problem. Thank you for calling to tell me you would be.” Chandler shook his hand and stepped back to let him in.  
Chandler cut to the chase and showed Joey around. He showed him the room he would be staying in if he were to move in.  
“Do you have a problem with me bringing women home?” Joey asked.  
Chandler shook his head. “Not if you don’t have a problem with me bringing them home. The walls are surprisingly thick here anyway. By the way, you don’t have any odd food allergies, do you?”  
Joey laughed. “No way! I love all things food. In fact, I think I might just die if I weren’t allowed to eat something I really wanted to eat. I do hate Brussels sprouts, and they smell awful when cooked, but if you really must make them, it’s your apartment first, so I’ll put up with it.”  
Chandler wrinkled his nose. “No problem there. Do you mind pets?”  
Joey grinned big. “Not at all. I love animals!” He frowned then as he remembered the Chihuahuas. “As long as it’s not a yappy dog! I prefer quieter animals.”  
Chandler sighed in relief. “Also no problem there.” He raised an eyebrow. “No gas problems or fear of negative energy?”  
Joey shook his head. “I only have gas problems if I eat too much Mexican food, and if that happens, I promise to use a freshener. As for negative energy, I survived my landlord, and trust me, nothing can be scarier than her! I’m good on that too.”  
“Lastly, any issues with your parents? Any Mohawks in the future, or piercings?” Chandler asked. He knew he was just being silly now, but he needed to be absolutely sure Joey wasn’t as weird as the others were.  
Joey shook his head. “I love both my parents very much! As for the Mohawk or piercings, I feel my body and looks are already perfect as they are. Anyway, I play Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of our Lives, and the show would never let me do any of that stuff even if I wanted to, which I don’t.”  
Chandler was beyond relieved. “I have one final question for you.”  
“What’s that?” Joey asked.  
“When can you move in?”  
Joey smiled big. “I kind of have to move in tomorrow if that’s okay with you. My landlord kicked me out for not liking her yappy dogs.”  
“I’m not a huge fan of dogs, so there will be no yappy dogs here, believe me. We can go over the contract tomorrow, and you can start moving your stuff in first thing tomorrow. I have a feeling this arrangement will work out nicely for the both of us.” Chandler held out a hand to him.  
“Just so we’re clear, you want to just be roommates, right? Not…” Joey looked around, and then whispered, “lovers?”  
Chandler made a face. I respect the gay community, and to each their own, but I only love women, Pal.”  
Joey sighed with relief, then shook his hand. “Great! I feel the same way, believe me. I love my women. I just thought that maybe you were….”  
“Why does everyone think that?” Chandler asked, annoyed.  
Just then, Phoebe walked in and set the food down on the counter. “They accidentally gave me a large even though they I told them a medium. They still only charged for the medium though, so score!” She looked up and saw Joey then. She smiled and held out her hand to him. “Hello! You must be Joey Tribbiani.”  
Joey smiled at her. She had the most beautiful smile, he noticed. He shook her hand, and it felt like lighting passing between them. “Hello! As a matter of fact, I am Joey Tribbiani. I’m Chandler’s new roommate. How did you know my name? Have you seen me on Days of our Lives?”  
“I’m Chandler’s best friend. I was helping him pick out a new roommate, but there were so many weirdos, I decided to take a break from it and go get us some food.” Phoebe pushed some hair behind her ear. “I knew he was expecting you. I’ve never seen Days of our Lives. You really act on it? That’s so cool!”  
Joey nodded. “I play Dr. Drake Ramoray.” He then got a sniff of the pizza. “Is that Cheeseburger pizza from Pete’s?”  
Phoebe nodded. “Sure is! There are garlic knots too.”  
Joey whimpered. “I didn’t even have dinner yet.”  
Chandler shrugged. “Have some to celebrate being my new roommate! There’s plenty.”  
Joey smiled big. He loved this place already. “Thanks, Man! I don’t mind if I do.” He had a slice and moaned. He now had a roommate that seemed chill enough, his favorite pizza, and a woman he could definitely see himself getting to know better. He looked over to see her smiling at him, and his heart jolted. He smiled back. The stewardess he had a date with tonight completely slipped his mind. He had no idea she was currently fuming at being stood up.  
“Hey Phoebes, where’s your veggie burger?” Chandler asked, noticing that only his food was there.  
“Huh?” Phoebe looked away from watching Joey, and turned her attention back on Chandler. “I missed what you said.”  
“Where’s your food?” Chandler asked, nodding toward the counter.  
Phoebe blushed. “Oh! Mike called me when I was out. He got out earlier than expected. I’m going to eat with him after all. But enjoy your movie!”  
“Oh, okay.” Chandler turned to Joey. “Do you want to stay and watch Miss Congeniality with me?”  
Joey raised an eyebrow at him. “A chick flick? Dude, are you sure you aren’t gay?”  
“I know, right?” Phoebe asked.  
She and Joey grinned at each other.  
Chandler glared at them.  
Joey cleared his throat. “I’ll take that as my cue to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He picked up another slice of pizza. “One for the road,” he explained with a sheepish grin.  
“See you later, Chan.” Phoebe headed out with Joey right behind her.  
“See ya,” Chandler said, already having lost interest in the two, for his movie was about to start.  
“Congrats on Chandler picking you. I’m glad you’re not a weirdo like the others,” Phoebe said as she and Joey stood in the hallway after shutting the door behind them.  
Joey smiled at her. “Thanks. So, big date tonight, huh?” He felt his heart sink a little. “Or is it your husband?”  
Phoebe laughed. “Husband? Oh please! I’m just having fun with him. He’s great, but I’ve only been with him for a month. I think I’d get way too bored with him for anything long-term. I take it you’re not married either since you’re moving in with Chandler?”  
Joey shook his head. “No, I’m not married or with anyone serious. I like to keep my options open too much. I don’t really have just one girlfriend. I—crap! I forgot I had a date tonight! What time is it?”  
Phoebe looked at her watch. “It’s almost seven. Yikes! I better be going to my own date, but I’ll see you around! And good luck with your date. Hopefully she’s not too mad at you.” She smiled at him and waved, then took off.  
Joey sighed. “Forget about my date!” he muttered to himself once she was out of earshot. “She could never compare to you anyway.” He smile to himself and whistled with his hands in his pockets as he headed back toward his apartment for one last night in it. He was suddenly happy. The day had actually turned around for him!


	2. The One Where Joey Does Phoebe a Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Phoebe's boyfriend is being a jerk, she asks Joey to take his place at the Halloween party as the Danny to her Sandy. Joey is more than happy to oblige.

The One Where Joey Does Phoebe a Favor

With Ross and Chandler’s help, Joey moved into Chandler’s apartment the very next day as planned. The lease was signed, and Chandler and his friend Ross even helped him move his things. The landlord, whose name he never did find out, was happy to see him go. She muttered “Good riddance” to him, as he left her the key. She was holding one of her many Chihuahuas and stroking his or her head. The Chihuahua growled at him as he politely waved to Elvira, as he still called her in his head, and the Chihuahua.   
“Trust me,” he grumbled under his breath in reference to both Elvira and her dog, “the feeling is mutual.” He had never been so glad to get out of a place in his life!  
Ross seemed like a nice guy. He was a bit of a geek. He was a paleo…. He was a palien…. Joey had no idea what you called it. He could never remember what Ross said. However, he knew that it had to do with dinosaurs and old stuff. It all seemed boring to Joey, but Ross seemed nice enough despite his lack of coolness. After all, he had helped him move even though he had only just met him.  
“So, are you guys coming to the Halloween party Gunther’s throwing at Central Perk Halloween night?” Ross asked once they had finally unpacked everything.   
“What Halloween party? And what kind of name is Gunther?” Joey asked with a snort.  
“He’s the owner of the coffee house we always frequent. He throws it every year and it’s only for his most loyal customers and their guests. It’s mainly only our main group of friends other than a maybe twenty other customers. There’s some dancing, a band that plays cheesy Halloween songs, and of course, the whole menu is Halloween themed for the night. At the end there’s an award for the best costume,” Ross explained.  
“What’s the award?” Joey asked.  
“A certificate for free pastries and coffees for a week,” Ross answered.   
“That’s seven free pastries, and seven free coffees. Even if you enter as a couple, you have to split the coffees and pastries.” Chandler chimed in with a roll of his eyes. “He doesn’t double the award.   
Gunther’s a real cheapskate! Any normal business would give you free coffee and pastries for a year or at least a month.”  
“Sounds lame,” Joey said. Though he was intrigued by the possibility of winning free food.  
Chandler nodded. “It is! It really is. But it’s tradition, and it’s kind of fun I guess. I have a date, so I’m going to go with her. I met her at bar the other night. She hit on me, actually. Honestly, not many women hit on me, and though drunk, I could tell she was pretty, so I accepted. I invited her to the party and she agreed.”  
“I’m going with my sister Monica,” Ross chimed in.  
Joey made a face. “Dude, your sister? I know you’re a bit of a geek, but I’m sure you can do better than your own sister, man. I mean come on! That’s sick even for me!”  
Chandler burst out laughing and Ross shot him a look. “Are you for real?”  
“Oh, sadly, he is,” Chandler said. It hadn’t taken him long to realize that Joey wasn’t always the brightest star in the sky, but for the most part, he had a childlike innocence that made him endearing.   
Ross shook his head. “I resent that geek comment. Not as a date! We’re going because two other customers that we have had a crush on for like ever, according to Gunther, recently broke up. They’re both going to be there, and it will allow Monica and me to swoop in and console them, if you know what I mean.”  
“Our other friend Rachel is going with someone we never met before, so you’ll get to meet our whole group of friends and then some,” Chandler said to Joey. “You up for it?”  
“I don’t know. I think I’d feel out of place when all of you have either dates, or potential dates. I might just stay here and watch a horror movie or something.” Then he thought of something. “Is Phoebe going?”   
“Yeah, she’s opening up for the band,” Ross replied.  
Joey smiled big. “She sings?”  
Chandler and Ross looked at each other and smirked.  
“She tries her best,” Chandler said.  
Ross snickered. “I’d hate to here her worst.”  
Both Chandler and Ross burst into laughter.  
Joey paid no attention. He had a more pressing thing on his mind. “Is she bringing a date?”  
“As far as we know,” Ross said with a shrug.  
“She’s going with her boyfriend Mike,” Chandler replied.  
Joey’s face fell. “There’s a horror movie marathon on that night. I think I’m just going to stay home. I’ll pass out candy to the kids that trick-or-treat.”  
Chandler shrugged. “Suit yourself! I usually just put a huge bowl of candy out in the hallway. It satisfies the kids enough not to throw eggs at my door. You could try to find a date, you know.”  
Joey shook his head. “Na, I’m good.” He didn’t know why he so was bummed over one woman having a boyfriend, but he was. He could have found a date to the Halloween party easily. The only problem was, he only wanted to go with Phoebe. Too bad she was already going with someone else.  
“Well, I have to go shopping for my costume. I’m busy all week with work and meetings, so now is the only time I have to find a costume before the party,” Chandler said.  
“I’ll go with you. Now is as good of time as any. I need to find a costume that will knock the socks off of Mandy…among other things.” Ross grinned.  
Chandler laughed with Ross and gently elbowed him.  
“Do you want to come along?” Chandler asked.  
Joey shook his head. “Na. I’m just going to order some lunch in and go over my lines.”  
“Well, have fun and enjoy your lunch!” Chandler said.  
He and Ross then left, and Joey sighed as he headed over to the kitchen to find the takeout menus. He was a little depressed, and when he was depressed, get got hungry. Then again, he was always hungry, but being depressed made him even hungrier.   
He dialed up his favorite Chinese food place and proceeded to order enough food to try to drown his sorrows.

“Rach, your date is going to blow his top if he sees you in that outfit,” Monica said as Rachel admired herself in the mirror. She had on the sexy maid costume she was thinking about for the Halloween party.   
“Really? You don’t think it’s too much for a first date?” Rachel turned left and right, examining the costume from all angles.  
“Not really. It’s Halloween. People get away with dressing like tramps on Halloween,” Monica said with a shrug.  
“I don’t want to appear too easy. I think I want to try on the cheerleader costume.” Rachel headed into the changing room of the Halloween store to try the next costume on. “Any idea what you want to be yet?” she asked from the other side of the curtain.  
“Unlike you, I want to appear easy!” Monica said. “I was thinking of the maid costume if you don’t want it.”  
“Take it! Actually, it’s perfect for you. No one likes to clean more than you do, right?”   
Monica nodded. “That is true. Nor is anyone better at it than I am. Anyone would be lucky to have me as their maid!”  
Rachel passed the costume through the privacy curtain to her. “You do realize it’s just a costume, right?” Rachel teased. “You’re not actually going to be cleaning the place.”  
Monica took the costume and shrugged. “I don’t know, it depends how dirty it is. I may help Gunther clean up after the party. If I plan on continuing to frequent Central Perk after Halloween I want it to be clean.”  
“Only you, Mon. Only you.” Rachel stepped out of the dressing room and looked in the mirror. “Do you like it?”  
Monica grinned. “I think you can definitely pull that look off if you add some pig tails. It’s hot, but not trashy. It’s just hot enough to keep them wanting more.”  
Rachel smiled big. “Then a sexy cheerleader it is!” She nodded at the costume in Monica’s hand. “Go try it on.”  
Monica did as told. “I’ve been so busy at the restaurant that I haven’t met Chandler’s new roommate Joey yet. Have you?”  
Rachel shook her head. “No, I haven’t. I’m sure we’ll meet him at the party though. I think Ross has met him. He helped him move into Chandler’s this morning.”  
Monica came out in the maids costume and spun around in it for Rachel. “What do you think?”  
“I think Billy will be begging for your number and more by the end of the night!” Rachel said with a whistle.  
Monica grinned at her. “I guess I found my costume for the party!”  
Rachel grinned back. “Wanna do lunch at Sal’s after we pay for these?”  
“Sure!” Monica said as they headed to the registers. “I wonder what everyone else is planning on being for the party….”

By the night of the party, Joey had met everyone in the friends group. He liked everyone quite well. They were all very nice, and sad that he wasn’t going to the party. He hadn’t seen Phoebe since that first day he met her. Apparently, she was pretty busy with Mike.   
“I thought you said you wanted to impress Mandy,” Monica said to Ross as she came into Chandler and Joey’s apartment where they were all meeting before the party.  
“Hey, a caveman is cool. I’m in nothing but my underwear and a skimpy piece of clothing in faux lion skin! I think it’s pretty sexy if you ask me!” Ross defended himself.  
“You’re wearing a cheaply made dress with only one strap,” Chandler quipped.  
“At least I don’t look like something out of The Village People,” Ross snapped back at him.   
“Shut up!” Chandler snapped. He blushed. He was dressed as a police officer. He had in mind sexy male stripper when he initially bought it, but now that Ross mentioned the Village People, he was starting to have second thoughts about it. Oh well. It was too late now.  
“So where’s your date?” Joey asked Chandler.  
“Janice is meeting me at the party. She’s running a little late,” Chandler replied.  
“Mine is too,” Rachel said, before Joey could ask her.  
“By the way, you look great, Rache, and Mon,” Joey said, nodding at them. They were both hot, but he surprised himself by having zero feelings for either of them. Then again, he knew deep down why he didn’t. He already had his eye on someone. “Where’s Phoebe?”  
“She and Mike are meeting us at the party,” Monica answered. “I guess we better go.”   
“Are you sure you don’t want to go, Joe? You can always go as Dr. Drake Ramoray,” Chandler said to him with a smirk.  
“I am Dr. Drake Ramoray so that wouldn’t really be a costume; it would be more like my work uniform,” Joey said. “Anyway, I’m good. I don’t feel much like going. You all have fun though. Hopefully one of you wins that contest.”  
They thanked him, and then with hurried goodbyes, they all left, leaving Joey alone.  
Joey plopped himself down onto the couch. “Seems like I’m always alone lately,” he muttered to himself. He had to wonder how he could go from so happy to be moving in to being totally depressed and lonely all in the short dilatation of a week.   
“Maybe I should have gone to the party,” he said to himself. “Surely there has to be some hot girl there to take my mind off of Phoebe.”  
There was a knock on the door then, and Joey dragged himself up off the couch, grabbing the bowl of candy. He was beginning to think that just setting the bowl outside the door was a good idea after all. At least that way, he could watch his horror movies and sulk in peace.   
He opened the door expecting to see a trick-or-treater, but was shocked when he saw none other than Phoebe Buffay standing at the door.

“Hey Joey. Mind if I come in?”  
Joey stepped back, still surprised to see her there. It just registered now that she was dressed as Sandy from Grease. He grinned. “How you doin’?” He couldn’t help but stare at how tight the outfit formed on her body.  
“My eyes are up here,” she teased, but she giggled despite herself.  
He blushed. “Sorry. You look great. Where’s Mike?”  
“That’s what I want to talk to you about.” Phoebe walked passed him and put a bag on the kitchen counter. “We got into a fight and I dumped his ass. He thought it was dumb to dress as a couple. He’s not into the whole Halloween thing. I asked him if he would do it for me, and he just grabbed another beer, plopped himself onto the couch, and turned on a lame horror movie marathon.”  
Joey closed the door, then quickly went over to the television and turned it off. He was glad it was on a commercial. “Horror movies are lame.”  
Phoebe nodded. “I know, right? I mean, they’re not even scary anymore, and they are so clichéd. Anyway, I was wondering if you would be my Danny Zuko. I’ll split the prize with you.”  
“Joey doesn’t share food!” Joey said as an automatic response. He couldn’t help it. He loved food, and he hated parting with any of it.  
Phoebe shrugged. “Fine. You can have it all if we win. I don’t even care about the stupid prize. I just want to win! For some odd reason, Rachel wins every year even when she doesn’t try. Monica hates losing. Gunther always gives her one free coffee and pastry for being second place, but still, Monica tries so hard to win each year. This year though she isn’t as intent on winning because she has her potential boy toy to win over instead. Do you know how much it sucks to live in their shadows? Rachel could be a model and she works at freaking Ralph Lauren. Monica is just as beautiful in her own way, and she is so successful. She’s the cook at a really fancy restaurant. I’m just Phoebe, a masseuse that always gets looked over when those two are in the same room. Don’t get me wrong, I adore both Rachel and Monica, but I’m human. Sometimes it just brings me down, you know? For once, I want to be the one who wins. I want to be the best out of the three of us. Just once! That’s all I want.”  
Joey was shocked. He didn’t know what to say at first.   
Phoebe blushed. “I’m sorry to throw all that on you. We’ve only met one other time, and here I am going on about my insecurities to you. I promise I’m not usually like this.”  
Joey shook his head. “Don’t apologize!” He put a hand over her shoulder and looked into her eyes. “Phoebes, how you can even doubt yourself is beyond me. I’ve been with a lot of women, believe me, and not one of them could even hold a candle to your beauty.”  
Phoebe smiled and blushed. “Really?”  
Joey nodded. “Really! And you know what? I would be honored to be the Danny Zuko to your Sandy….whatever her last name is.”  
Phoebe laughed. “Olsson.”  
Joey grinned. “I’ll go get ready!”   
Phoebe handed him the bag containing the costume. “Thank you for doing this for me, Joey.”  
“No problem!” Joey said. He smiled to himself. No problem at all…

“I hope you don’t mind I did my own hair. Wigs make me itchy,” Joey said as he came out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later.  
Phoebe took another suck of a lollipop she had snatched out of the candy bowl and looked up. Her heart beat a little faster. “That’s okay.” She stood up and looked him over. “How did you do your hair so good?”  
Joey blushed. “My sisters taught me a few things. Plus, on set, after a while I started to pick up on things my hair stylist does to my hair that I liked.”  
Phoebe licked her lips. He had a great body and leather was definitely nice on him. She took another suck on her lollipop.  
“Are you ready to go, Sandy?” Joey teased, trying not to let the view of her sucking a lollipop in her tight leather Sandy outfit get to him. He looked away. “You might want to lose the lollipop. You don’t want to smear your lipstick.”  
“Good point!” Phoebe ditched the lollipop in the trash. “Now let’s go kick Rachel’s ass!” Phoebe said.  
They grinned at each other, and then left the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 coming in the next couple of days. I'm just about done writing it. I hope you are enjoying this story! Thank you so much for reading so far.


	3. The One with the Halloween Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoebe and Joey enjoy their time together at the Halloween Party.  
> Ross and Monica get played but they don't know it yet.  
> Chandler likes Janice, but hates the voice.

The One with the Halloween Party

“Oh. My. God!”  
Chandler wondered who belonged to that annoying, nasally voice. Was Fran Drescher there?”   
He felt a hand on his shoulder.   
“Did you plan this? Wait, there’s no way you could have possibly known what outfit I’d be in.”  
Chandler looked behind him. It appeared that the owner of the annoying voice was talking to him. Boy was he surprised to see that the person belonging to the annoying voice was none other than Janice. She was in Julia Robert’s hooker outfit from Pretty Woman.   
“Are you going to arrest me officer?” Janice purred into his ear. Then she laughed the most annoying laugh he had ever heard in his life.  
“Hahahahahah!”  
Chandler smiled big, not wanting to be rude. How had he not heard how annoying her voice was before? He realized he must have had been more drunk than he had realized when he met her. “You’re too pretty to arrest. Maybe I should have dressed as Edward Lewis instead so I could sleep with you,” he teased, in reference to Richard Gere’s character.  
“Hahahahahahahah!   
Chandler winced at her laugh. The second time hearing it was just as painful as the first time.  
“You’re so sweet and handsome, Chandler. I’d sleep with you no matter what you were dressed as. Just not on the first date. I’m not that kind of girl.” She grinned up at him and latched onto his arm.  
Chandler smiled at her, and his heart melted a little. “You’re the sweet one. Would you like something to eat? Gunther had some pizzas ordered in. The dough is black, but according to Gunther, it’s because the dough was dyed black for Halloween. It wasn’t just left in the oven for way too long.”  
“Hahahahaha! You’re so funny Chandler!” Janice clung tighter to him. “I’m starved! Yes, let’s try some of that pizza!”  
Chandler smiled. “At least she was really pretty. He had remembered that correctly. She laughed at his jokes, and that was another plus. Also, he could deal with being a cop from Pretty Woman a lot more than he could a cop from The Village People. He could put up with her laugh. At least for the night anyway…

Two minutes later, Joey and Phoebe arrived at Central Perk. Phoebe already had her guitar waiting there on stage for her. The band hadn’t arrived yet.  
She turned to Joey. “I promised I’d sing a few songs to warm the crowd up for the band. Do you mind waiting for me?”  
“Sandy, I would wait an eternity for you.” Joey took her hand and kissed it.   
Phoebe giggled. She then picked up her guitar, cleared her throat, and introduced herself. She informed the crowd that she would be singing some original songs she wrote especially for the party.  
“Joey, you came!” Monica said. She, Ross, Rachel, Rachel’s date Ian, Chandler, and Janice were all sitting at the couch and on chairs. Joey pulled another chair over. “Did you come with Phoebe?”  
Joey nodded. “Hey everyone! Yeah, she asked me to come with her since she and Mike broke up.”  
“They did? Poor Phoebs,” Monica said with a pout.  
Rachel quickly introduced her date Ian to him. He seemed nice.   
Chandler then introduced him to Janice. They had come back to eat their pizza on the couch.  
“Hello, Joey! It’s so nice to meet you. Chandler tells me he is very happy to have found such a good roommate,” Janice said as she shook his hand.  
Joey hid a wince, and smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too. I’m grateful to have Chandler as a roommate as well.” That woman had the most obnoxious voice he had ever heard along with Fran Drescher. They were practically voice twins.  
Phoebe started to sing then, and Joey turned to watch her. He was sure a much more pleasant sound would come from her!  
“Halloween is fun, Halloween is spooky. There’s no alcohol here cuz it makes you act too cooky….” Came Phoebe’s very off-key voice.  
Joey laughed. “She’s so funny!”  
“I hate to break it to you, but she’s not trying to be funny,” Ross said.  
“But the song is a joke, right?” Joey asked.  
Chandler shook his head. “Afraid not.”  
Joey raised an eyebrow. “Her voice?”  
“Sounds like someone strangling a cat!” Monica said.  
“The witching hour is among us! Do what a monster does! But don’t be a vampire, and don’t suck blood! Sucking blood is gross and makes you a big loser, dud!  
“Well, at least she’ll make the band sound better,” Rachel quipped.  
Joey shot them all a dirty look. “I thought she was your guys’ friend.”  
Monic shrugged. “She is! But the poor thing can’t sing. We still encourage her though, because it makes her happy. Who is she hurting other than our ears?”  
Joey clapped for Phoebe when she was done and stood up and cheered, causing her to smile. He didn’t care if she was horrible. As Monica said, it made her happy, and that truly was all that mattered. That and making her smile like he just did.

“Tell me the truth, Joey,” Phoebe said once she and Joey were drinking “the witches brew” which tasted like lime sherbet and Mountain Dew. “Did you really like my performance?”  
“You’re my new favorite artist,” Joey said in response. To him, it wasn’t about the music or the voice, but all about who was doing the singing.  
Phoebe kissed his cheek, and he felt butterflies travel through him. He always thought butterflies was a girl thing, but Phoebe had just proved that theory wrong. “I’m really glad you could come tonight,” she said.  
“Me too—and not just for this delicious candy corn muffin.” He swallowed his last bite and gently stroked her cheek. “It’s not often I get a woman this beautiful as my date to a party.”  
Phoebe rolled her eyes. “Please! From what I’ve heard, you’ve had plenty of beautiful girls,” she said, feeling like he was just feeding her a line.  
“Still not as beautiful as you,” Joey insisted.  
Phoebe smiled and blushed. Then her eyes lit up as the band began playing Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me”. “I love this song!”  
“Well then let’s dance, Gorgeous!” Joey said.  
Phoebe laughed, and pulled him out to the dancefloor.   
Joey soon realized she danced as crazy as she sang, but he didn’t care. He was a crazy dancer too, and danced even crazier than usual just to meet her pace.

“Care for a dance?” Ross asked Mandy, who was dressed as a princess.   
She smiled at him. “Are you a caveman?”  
Ross grinned. “Only for Halloween. I’m a paleontologist on a regular basis.” He winked. “That means I study dinosaurs, in case you don’t know.”  
“I love dinosaurs! Can you name every kind of dinosaur to ever exist?” Mandy asked, to Ross’s surprise, sounding extremely into dinosaurs.  
“Well, I don’t mean to brag, but pretty much! Would you like to hear them all?” Ross could not believe his luck! Not only was he getting the attention of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but she was into dinosaurs and wanted him to tell her about them!  
“It’s kind of loud in here. Why don’t we go out sometime and you can tell me then?” Mandy asked, tracing a trail down Ross’ chest with her right index finger.  
Ross giggled. “Sure. How about Maestro’s tomorrow night at six? Then after I can give you a private tour of the museum I work at. I’ll not only tell you all the types of dinosaurs, but I can show you a lot of them, or what is left of them anyway.”   
Mindy giggled. “Oh my gosh, really? I would love that! Let’s plan on meeting there at six.”  
Ross grinned so big his cheeks hurt. “Okay!” He couldn’t believe his luck! “Hey, what did the dinosaur use to build his house?”  
Mandy smiled. “I don’t know, what?”  
Ross laughed at his own joke before he even gave the punchline. “A Dino-saw!”  
Mandy laughed loudly. “You’re hilarious!”  
Ross grinned; encouraged. “What do you do if a Tyrannosaurus Rex sees you?”  
Mandy shrugged.   
“Pray he doesn’t see you!” Ross burst into laughter again.  
Mandy laughed as well. “Oh, Ross, I have a feeling you’re going to have me laughing all night tomorrow! I’ll see you tomorrow.” She pat his shoulder, then headed off to get more food.  
Ross grinned a Cheshire grin; proud of himself.

Meanwhile, Monica was having just as much luck with Billy, who was dressed as a handsome knight.  
“That is a really sexy costume you have on, Monica. You should win the contest on sex appeal alone!” Billy said to her.  
Monica blushed and giggled. “This old thing? I just threw this together last minute.” Other than having her hair and makeup professionally done, but he didn’t need to know that. She always looked this good even without help as far as he needed to know.  
“I’d like to get to know you a little better, and this isn’t a really good place to do it since it’s so loud. Would you like to do dinner tomorrow?” Billy asked her.  
Monica nodded. “I would love that! Look, if you don’t mind a late dinner, I can make us dinner and we can have it alone in my restaurant. I’m the head chef at Café Lauder.”  
“Wow, really? I never tried the food there. With you cooking, I can’t wait to try it. Are you allowed to keep it open for just us?” Billy asked; visibly impressed.  
“Of course! I’m the head chef, so I make the rules.” Monica tried to appear cool and nonchalant, but she was screaming with excitement inside.  
“Well then, tomorrow night it is!” Billy said. He kissed her hand. “What time?”  
“It’s our early night, so we close at eight. I can have dinner ready by nine. Is that too late? I know it’s really late, but—”  
“Nine is perfect. I’ll be counting the hours.” He kissed her hand. “I will meet you there at nine.”  
Monica blushed. “I’ll be counting the hours too,” she said dreamily.   
She sighed when he walked away to talk to someone else. He could actually be the one, she thought with optimism.

After their dance, Joey and Phoebe went to get some more witches’ brew and sat down on the couch together.   
“I really hope we win the contest. It means so much to me,” Phoebe said.  
“Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?” Joey asked her. “I need another one of those candy corn muffins!”  
“Sure, I’ll try one,” Phoebe said, for she hadn’t had one yet.  
Joey went up to the counter then.  
“What can I get you?” Gunther asked him.  
“Two candy corn muffins please,” Joey ordered.  
“I’m sorry. We only have one left,” Gunther said simply.  
“I’ll take it!” Joey said.  
Gunther handed it to him.  
Joey paid. “One more thing.”  
“What’s that?” Gunther asked.  
“Rachel doesn’t win the costume contest this year,” Joey said to him.  
“Like hell she doesn’t!” Gunther said. He licked his lips while staring at her skirt that just covered her butt.  
“How about if I give you fifty dollars to let Phoebe win?” Joey took out a fifty from his wallet.  
Gunther raised an eyebrow. “Why would you do that? That’s more than the prize is worth.”  
“But it’s not worth more than Phoebe’s worth,” Joey said simply.  
Gunther sighed. “Fine.” He took the fifty. “It’s not like picking Rachel every year changes anything between Rachel and me anyway.”  
Joey looked at him in confusion. “Huh?”  
“Nothing.” Gunther pocketed the money and walked away.  
Joey then headed back to Phoebe and handed her the muffin.  
“Where’s yours?” Phoebe asked.  
“They only had one left,” Joey replied.  
“You wanted it first. You can have it.” Phoebe handed it to him.  
Joey shook his head. “I tried one before. You didn’t get to have one.”  
Phoebe insisted. “I had a pumpkin muffin when you had your candy corn muffin so this is a second muffin for both of us. I’d say we split it, but you don’t share food, I get it.”  
“Well, maybe I can make and exception for you,” Joey said gently.  
Phoebe giggled. “Okay.” She handed it to him again. “You split.”  
Joey broke it, and gave her the biggest half.  
Noticing that she had the bigger half, she broke part of hers off, and held it to his lips.  
Joey opened his mouth, and ate it.   
“I had to even it out,” Phoebe explained.   
“Okay.” Joey smiled at her. So badly he wanted to kiss her.  
The band left for another gig then, but Gunther announced that there would be karaoke.   
“Oo, ooh! Me first!” Phoebe said. She turned to Joey. “We’re Sandy and Danny! We so have to sing “Summer Nights”!  
Joey shook his head. “I don’t know, Phoebs. “I’m not that great of a singer.”  
“I am a singer so I’ll carry you, don’t worry!” Phoebe said, taking his hand in hers and practically dragging him to the karaoke machine.  
“All right…” With her hand in his, Joey would have done nearly anything for her. He knew it sounded ridiculous. After all, they had only met twice. But she was starting to make him believe in love at first sight.

“Oh. My. God. Those voices are so terrible, but God bless them for having the nerve to go on up there and sing in public like that! I never could,” Janice said as she watched Phoebe and Joey semi-butchering “Summer Nights” though, surprisingly not as badly as Chandler would have thought they would.   
Chandler found it ironic that Janice was the one complaining about voices. Her voice was so nasally and shrill he wanted to pull his hair out. He found himself once again wondering how he didn’t know why he hadn’t noticed her voice when he first met her in the club. He guessed either he had had even more alcohol than he had thought, or the noise of the club blocked out the annoying tone of her voice. Even so, he did enjoy spending time with her. She was sweet, and she made him laugh. He supposed he could go out with her again.

“I just scored a date with Billy!” Monica said proudly, coming up to Ross.   
Ross grinned at her. “And I got one with Mandy! She really liked all my dinosaur jokes. We’re going to go to Maestro’s for dinner, and then I’m going to give her a private tour of the museum.”  
“And Billy loved the idea of me cooking for him in the restaurant after it’s closed,” Monica said proudly. “It’s one of the nice things about being head chef. I can do what I want, when I want!” 

“This party is getting lame. Why don’t we move onto Club Status? I hear they have a way more elaborate set up than this,” Ian said to Rachel.  
Rachel nodded. “As soon as I win my annual free coffee and pastries for a week, we can go.”  
Joey and Phoebe just finished their song to polite applause.   
“You weren’t have bad, Tribbiani!” Phoebe said to him with a gentle elbow to the ribs and a smile on her face that melted his heart.  
“Neither were you.” He meant it too. It wasn’t terrific, but it was better than her earlier singing.  
“Before we move onto the next song, it’s time to announce the winner of the costume contest. The winner is….” Gunther began.  
Rachel grinned and prepared to head up to get her gift certificate.  
“Phoebe Buffay!” Gunther announced.  
“Oh my gosh, yay!” Phoebe clapped her hands excitedly.   
“Congrats, Phoebs! What do you know? You finally beat me,” Rachel said with a genuine smile, clapping for her.  
Phoebe ran up and got her gift certificate, thanked Gunther, and then ran back to Joey. “I did it!”  
“You did it!” Joey said, so happy for her.  
“You should have won too since our costumes are a pair,” Phoebe said.  
“I don’t care about winning. I just care about you being happy, “Phoebs.”  
“You’re a great guy, Joey Tribbiani,” Phoebe said gently. She handed him her certificate. “I want you to take this. You deserve it for saving the night and agreeing to come with me.”  
“Getting to come here with you is prize enough. You won it; you keep it,” Joey said, gently stroking her face. He was really dying to kiss her, but didn’t want to scare her off.  
“Joey, I…” Phoebe trailed off. She was starting to feel the flutters in her stomach, and she had a sudden strong desire to kiss him.  
Before she could however, the door opened, and she turned to see Mike dressed as Danny Zuko. He smiled when he saw her. “Phoebe!”  
Phoebe walked over to him. “I thought you thought this kind of thing was too lame!”  
Mike nodded. “I did, but then I realized that something that meant so much to you could never be lame. I tried to call you on your cell phone, but you must not have heard it ring with all the noise. I had to search for a costume shop that was still open, and I finally found one who thankfully, had the Dany Zuko costume. Anyhow, that’s why I’m so late. Is it too late for the contest?”  
Phoebe nodded. “But that’s okay because I won! I finally won!”   
Mike grinned. “Really? That’s great! Congratulations!” He kissed her. “This party looks like it’s dying down. Why don’t we go to Club Status? I hear they have an active costume contest going on.”  
“I did break up with you, you know,” Phoebe reminded him.  
“But don’t I get points for making it right?” Mike asked, an eyebrow raised.  
Phoebe grinned. “I suppose. Especially if I get a chance at winning in another contest!”  
Mike laughed. “Let’s go.” He put a hand over her back.   
“I want to say goodbye to Joey and the others first,” Phoebe said.  
She quickly ran back to Joey. “Thanks, Joey. I had a blast tonight. I’ll never forget it!” She kissed his cheek, and in a flash went off to say goodbye to the others.  
Joey sighed, feeling like a male Cinderella. The ball was over, and it was time for him to go back to being plain old Joey Tribbiani.   
He headed out of the coffee shop to head home, get into his pajamas, and drown his sorrows in the leftover pizza that was in the fridge, and whatever was left of the horror movie marathon. He guessed he was lame after all. One thing was for sure though, like Phoebe, he would never forget that evening spent with her either. 

Meanwhile, after having arrived separately at Billy’s penthouse apartment, Mandy and Billy discussed Ross and Monica.   
“I can’t believe that dimwit actually thinks I love dinosaurs, and that I found his lame jokes funny. I swear, you’d think he was five years old hearing him talk about dinosaurs,” Mandy quipped.  
“At least we’ll get free dinners out of it. I don’t think she remembers me, for we weren’t in the same circle in school, but I remember Monica from school. She was a lard ass. I thought it would be funny just to go on a date with her and see what she’s like now,” Billy said.  
“If she is as good at cooking food as she is at eating it, you’ll be in for a treat!” Mandy said.  
They both laughed.   
“I think this will be good for our relationship, really. Going out with two losers will help us learn to appreciate each other more,” Billy said.  
Mandy nodded. “I couldn’t agree with you more! I’ll tell you one thing though, I’m not going to that lame ass museum. I’ll collect my free dinner, but that is about all I’ll be able to take of that dufus.”  
“I hear ya!” Billy said.  
Mandy grinned then. “Wanna help me get this princess costume undone?”  
Billy scooted closer to her on the couch. “Now helping a damsel in distress is a task I am willing to take on!”  
Mandy giggled and they headed to the bedroom with Mandy leading him by the hand.


	4. The One Where Phoebe Starts Crushing on Joey (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoebe is torn when she starts to have feelings for Joey. She decides to spend the day with him to see if her feelings are real or just a phase. This is in two parts since it was a super long chapter. I'll probably post chapter 2 next week.

The One Where Phoebe Starts Crushing on Joey (part 1)

Phoebe didn’t win the second Halloween contest with Mike, but she didn’t care because Rachel didn’t either. She and Ian had gone to the same party. The winner had been a drag queen in a Cher costume, and Phoebe had to admit, he was practically a carbon copy of Cher. He deserved to win. Anyway, she was still on her high from winning the contest at Central Perk.  
She smiled the next morning when she thought of that night. Joey had been so sweet to her…and so hot in his Danny Zuko costume. There were a couple of times that night she had even found herself wanting to kiss him. In fact, she almost had and probably would have had Mike not come in to surprise her.   
She sighed. She was growing more attached to Mike than she originally had been. At first, she had found him a little boring, and had seriously contemplated breaking it off with him. However, the more time she spent with him, the more she was really starting to fall for him. She had misjudged him. He was more fun than she had originally thought him to be.   
And then there was Joey. He was a little childlike, but that was one of the things she liked about him because so was she. He was so handsome. He was even more handsome than Mike was if she was being honest with herself. He was funny. He was kind and considerate. He made her laugh. It was funny because they had only recently met, yet he put her needs before his even more so than any past boyfriend of hers had. Heck, he was willing to be her Danny Zuko right away, whereas Mike had had to think about it.   
Mike came out of the shower and back into the bedroom. He had spent the night. He currently only had a towel wrapped around his waist. He was indeed a treat to look at, and he was such a great guy. He was different than Joey—a lot different than Joey. That wasn’t really a bad thing though. He was cute in his own way, and made her smile. They got each other’s sense of humor and loved to tease each other in a loving way. They had a lot of the same things in common and therefore liked to do a lot of the same things. Sure they had their differences, but the good times outweighed the bad.   
Mike kissed her. “I forgot my clothes.” He went into a drawer she had cleared out for him. He dropped his towel, and Phoebe whistled.  
“Oo La! I think I’d like to continue where we left off last night!” she teased.  
Mike grinned at her, walked over and kissed her passionately on the mouth.  
Phoebe tried to grab him and pull him back into bed with her, but he reluctantly pulled away. “To be continued tonight! Sorry, Babe. I have to get to work.”  
“All right, you party pooper!” Phoebe pouted.  
“Don’t you have to work too?” he asked with an eyebrow raised as he got dressed.  
Phoebe shook her head. “Nope! I had a feeling I’d be up late last night, so I took a day off to rest.”  
Mike pulled his shirt on, then kissed her. “Smart thinking. I wish I had thought of that!”  
“It’s not too late for you to call in sick,” Phoebe tempted him.  
Mike groaned. “Trust me, I wish I could, but I’m working my friend’s shift for him, so I can’t.”  
Phoebe crossed her arms and looked away. “All right then. Go off and be a good friend instead of staying home with your girlfriend.”  
Mike stroked her hair and move her face so that he could kiss her lips. “Tonight will be here before you know it. We’ll do dinner!”  
“All right,” Phoebe grumbled, still disappointed. “One more kiss.”  
They kissed, and then Mike bid her farewell and left.  
Phoebe sighed again. “Why does everyone have to work?” she grumbled. Suddenly, she thought of something. Joey. She wanted to get to know him better. She was curious about her feelings for him. She wanted to know if there was more to them, of if he was just a passing phase to her. She wondered if there was a chance that maybe he had off of work today, or at the very least if he could get off for a lunch break. The trouble was, she didn’t know his number. She texted Chandler asking for Joey’s number, then hopped in the shower before getting dressed. She’d text him once she was ready for the day, she figured.

When she was ready to go, she checked her text and found Joey’s number. She thanked Chandler, then called him.  
“Hi, Phoebs! It’s nice to hear from you today,” Joey said when she announced that it was her. “What’s up?”  
“I was wondering if you were working today. If not, I was thinking we could spend the day together, maybe get to know each other more since Chandler is my best friend and you’re going to be his roommate.”  
“You’re in luck!” Joey said without hesitation. “I happen to have off today. What did you have in mind?”  
“Well, I was thinking we could do lunch somewhere like Warnemonts maybe, and then go for a walk in the park? It’s a warm enough day today. We could even see a movie. Whatever. We’ll figure it out.”  
“I can meet you at your apartment if you’d like,” Joey offered.  
Phoebe smiled. “Okay. Do you have a pen and paper so I can give you my address?”  
“Hold on.”  
After a minute, Joey came back on the phone and took down her address. “I’ll see you soon. I just got out of the shower. I have to dress, and then I’ll head right over.”  
“Okay. See you then,” Phoebe said with a smile.  
They said their goodbyes and hung up.  
Phoebe licked her lips. He just got out of the shower and hadn’t dressed yet? She liked the mental image she was suddenly developing in her mind. His hair and body all wet and sexy. She could tell the way his Danny Zuko shirt had fit him that he had a very nice body. She imagined his arms wrapped around her, his lips on hers…  
“Stop it, Phoebe!” she scolded herself. “You have a boyfriend, remember?” Still, it didn’t hurt to look. Or in this case, think…

“Yeah, I’m sorry to do this to you last minute, but I’m really sick!” Joey said into the phone with a fake cough that he had perfected over the years. “I don’t know. I think it’s something I ate last night. I should be okay tomorrow. Can’t you shoot around me? Yes? Thank you. I promise, if I have to crawl into work tomorrow I’ll be there. All right, thank you for understanding. Goodbye.” Joey clicked off the phone, so glad they had bought his excuse, and that he had gotten himself the day off of work. He had lied to Phoebe. He really did have to work today, but there was not a chance in hell he’d give up hanging out with Phoebe for the day. He had been shocked to hear her voice when she had called. He didn’t even know she had his number! He figured Chandler must have given it to her. He’d have to thank him later.   
Joey finished dressing, saved Phoebe’s number to his phone, and then after one last look in the mirror and a spritz of his signature cologne that, in his experience, always made the ladies swoon, he headed out to pick up Phoebe for their day together. He didn’t know where Mike was today, nor did he care. All he knew was that he got to spend the day with Phoebe, and that was the only thing in the world that mattered to him right then.

It was warm, but still too chilly to wear a dress, so Phoebe chose skinny jeans and a tight mustard-colored sweater. Everyone always told her she looked good in mustard, so she chose to wear mustard today. She topped it off with grey flat knee-high boots and chunky cream colored socks that peaked out of her jeans. She spritzed on her favorite perfume that drove all the boys crazy in her experiences, except that oddly enough, Mike was the one man who never liked it. Now that he wasn’t there, she had a chance to wear it again.   
Joey knocked on her door about forty-five minutes after they had agreed to get together.   
When Phoebe opened the door, she took a deep breath and slowly let it out. She didn’t know how he did it, but he seemed to get more gorgeous each time she saw him. He was wearing jeans that hugged him in all the right places, he wore with it a ribbed light blue turtleneck sweater under a khaki colored fall jacket over it. He wore back socks and black sneakers.  
“Hey, Phoebs.” He grinned in a way that gave her heart flutters. “Are you ready to go?”  
“Heck yeah I am!” Phoebe said. She grabbed her purse, and followed him out the door, locking the door behind them.

“How can you eat those things?” Joey asked with a disgusted face as he watched Phoebe eat her veggie burger.  
Phoebe shrugged. “How can you at those things?” She nodded at his beef burger. “You know, a cow had to die for that.”  
“You’re a vegetarian?” Joey asked, surprised.  
Phoebe nodded.   
“Well, in all fairness, the cow would have died whether I ordered the burger or not.” Joey was worried then. “Am I offending you by eating this?”  
Phoebe shook her head. “No. I mean, I feel bad for the cow, but you’re right. The cow still would have died even if you didn’t order that burger. Everyone in the world would have to stop eating meat in order for the senseless slaughtering of animals to stop, and clearly that is not going to happen, so go for it.” Phoebe looked him in the eyes. “But don’t ever expect me to eat meat!”  
Joey grinned big suddenly.  
“What?” Phoebe asked.  
“I don’t have to ever worry about sharing my food when I’m with you if I order meat,” Joey quipped.  
Phoebe laughed. “That’s true! So, changing the subject, how do you like acting?”  
Joey’s eyes lit up. “I love it! It took me a while to get going, but once I got on Days, my career took off. Now I’m asked to be in movies, and I get guest appearances on TV shows. It’s great!”  
“I bet you make out with all your pretty co-stars,” Phoebe teased him.  
Joey grinned proudly. “Among other things. But not all of them. Only the pretty ones.”  
Phoebe rolled her eyes. “Men are such pigs!”  
Joey’s face fell a bit. He really wanted her to like him.   
“But you’re a cute pig at least,” Phoebe joked, smiling at him.  
Joey remained serious for once. “Maybe I just need the right girl to settle down with.”  
Before Phoebe could respond, the waiter came to see if they needed any drink refills.   
They both requested refills, and when the waiter left to get them, Phoebe changed the subject yet again.   
“I always wanted to try my hand at acting. I don’t know how good I’d be at it, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to try,” Phoebe admitted to him.  
“Well, we’re always looking for extras on Days, so I’ll see what I can do,” Joey offered. He would love to have her on set with him, and silently vowed to talk to the casting director the next time he got a chance to.  
Phoebe smiled big. “Really?”   
Joey grinned. “Really! I’ll set it up.”  
“Thanks, Joey. You are turning out to be a really good friend.” Phoebe smiled at him in a way that as usual, melted his heart and gave him butterflies.  
“Back at ya!” he said as their refills arrived. He wanted to be much more than friends with her, but for now, he’d take being a really good friend to her over being a total stranger to her any day.

After lunch, Joey and Phoebe went to the movies. It was a lame comedy that wasn’t that funny, and turned out to not be as good as they had hoped it would be. Joey munched on his popcorn, and watched Phoebe more than he watched the movie. She was so beautiful to him that even something as silly as the light from the big screen shining on her face made her look especially beautiful to him.  
Phoebe noticed him watching her and smiled shyly. “What?”  
“Are you enjoying the movie?” he whisper-asked her.  
She shook her head and whispered back, “Not really. It’s kind of lame. Honestly, I’m getting bored.”  
Joey’s face lit up with mischief. “Here.” He whispered as he handed her some of his popcorn. “Try to get some into my mouth.”  
“That’s so lame,” Phoebe whispered back. She then broke into a grin. “Okay.”  
She tossed some into his mouth and missed. She tried four more times and kept missing. “This is hard to do in the dark!” she whisper-complained.  
“Here,” Joey whispered, “I’ll open wider and get a little closer.” He did as promised and Phoebe tossed the popcorn and made it into his mouth this time.  
“Yes, I made it!” Phoebe let out with a hoot, forgetting to whisper.  
Several shushes were heard throughout the theater.  
“You shush! If I want to be loud, I’ll be loud!” Phoebe snapped back, not even trying to be quiet this time. She got more shushes, then she and Joey had a shushing war with whomever was shushing them.  
“Now you try getting some into my mouth,” Phoebe whispered to him. She handed him a handful of her popcorn.  
Joey tried and he kept missing as well. Phoebe opened her mouth wider and he tossed a kernel, but it accidentally hit the person on her other side on the temple.  
The man he accidentally hit cast him a dirty look.  
“Sorry!” Joey whispered, but then he burst out laughing, as did Phoebe, making his apology not so sincere. Joey couldn’t help it, he had the giggles, and Phoebe was right there with him.  
A moment later, security came and escorted them out for being disruptive.  
“I don’t understand what the problem is. It’s a comedy. Aren’t we supposed to laugh?” Joey asked the security guard.  
“This is your first warning. After three warnings you’re banned from the theater,” the gruff security guard warned them without cracking a smile.  
“Good, so we have one more free one coming to us,” Phoebe quipped.  
She and Joey laughed even harder, and they were practically shoved out of the movie theater.  
“I never really liked that theater anyway,” Joey said.  
“Me neither. The one at the mall is much better,” Phoebe agreed.  
“So now what should we do?” Joey asked.  
“I guess I should be getting home soon. Want to walk through the park along our way?” Phoebe asked.  
Joey smiled at her and dared to link his arm with hers. “As long as it means spending more time with you, then I’m all for it!”   
Phoebe blushed and giggled. “Okay, let’s go then.” She clung a little tighter to him and they both headed off to the park feeling light in their steps.


	5. The One Where Phoebe Starts Crushing on Joey (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of Phoebe developing feelings for Joey.  
> Phoebe enjoys her time with Joey so much she second thinks her relationship with Mike.  
> Monica and Ross find out their dates are scum.

The One Where Phoebe Starts Crushing on Joey (part 2)

Phoebe was finding herself falling for Joey as they walked together. At some point, she didn’t even know how, they started holding hands as they chatted about life. She told him about her life growing up, the good and the bad, and he told her about his life growing up. They talked about the things they hoped for in the future, and what they liked to do for fun. Phoebe was torn. She still wanted to be with Mike, and yet, she could definitely see herself with Joey. She knew she and Joey had only known each other for a little over a week, but she couldn’t help it. He was cute, he was funny, he was caring…. She didn’t know what to do!  
They got to the fountain in the park and Joey took out two pennies. He handed one to Phoebe. “Let’s make wishes. I know they don’t come true, but it’s fun anyway.”  
Phoebe smirked at him and took a penny. “Who says they don’t come true?”  
Joey shrugged. “I don’t believe in that kind of stuff.”  
“Well, I do! You just can’t tell anyone what you wished for—if you do then it won’t come true.” Phoebe held her penny tightly in her hand, and closed her eyes just as tightly as she thought of her wish. Then, she kissed it and tossed the penny into the fountain. “I gave it a kiss for good luck,” she informed him.  
Joey smiled. He still didn’t believe in this mumbo jumbo, but he’d play her game. After all, he was the one to suggest it. He closed his eyes, made his silent wish, then kissed the coin for good luck, as Phoebe had done, and tossed it into the fountain.  
Phoebe then took his hand, and they looked at their coins, which were now at the bottom of the fountain. “Thank you for keeping me company today, Joey.” She smiled up at him. “I really had a lot of fun!”  
“Me too,” Joey said, smiling back at her.  
“I guess I should be going now. I’ll call you some time and we can hang out again.” Phoebe didn’t want to leave, but she had to get back to Mike. They had plans tonight, and as much as she enjoyed being with Joey, she didn’t want to miss out of her time with Mike.  
“Do you want me to walk you home?” Joey asked her. “I have the time.”  
Phoebe shook her head. Mike might be home by then and she didn’t want to have to explain to him why she was hanging out with another man—even if he was just a friend.  
“No, it’s okay. Mike is probably home by now and I don’t want him to get all jealous and think you’re more to me than what you actually are.” Phoebe wanted to smack herself when she said that. She hadn’t meant that to come out as harsh as it had. “I mean…” She didn’t know how to correct her mistake.  
“I understand,” Joey said. But he didn’t. “Have a good night.”  
“You too. Bye.” Phoebe quickly hugged him, then ran off. She was a little embarrassed to have acted so flustered around him, but she was confused about what she felt for him. She knew it was best just go get back to Mike and forget about Joey for the time being.  
Joey started to walk home feeling like crap. He was tired of always getting his hopes up over Phoebe only to have them come crashing down because of Mike at the end. It was history repeating himself and he just couldn’t do it any more. As much as he wanted Phoebe, he wasn’t going to sit around waiting for her. She wanted to be with someone else, and he knew he was just going to have to accept that. He was tired of being depressed and sulking over her. He was tired of giving up dates because he hoped by some miracle that she would come crawling into his arms. He didn’t want to be pathetic. Joey Tribbiani was not pathetic! He could get any girl he wanted and he was hell bent on proving it! He headed the other way. Screw going home. He was going to go live again at a bar, and then maybe at a club. He didn’t need Phoebe! At least, that was his mind was telling him. What his heart was telling him was a totally different story, but it was nothing a sexy woman and a bit of alcohol couldn’t drown out. So he turned a deaf ear to his heart and headed for the bar. His brain was always more fun than his heart was anyway.

“So the Stegosaurus said to the Brontosaurus, “No, those are my scales!” Ross burst out laughing at his own joke, and Mandy rolled her eyes, not even pretending to laugh at his jokes anymore. They were getting worse by the minute, and frankly, she had had it.   
“Ugh! I can’t take this nonsense anymore! No free meal is worth putting up with this. I’m out of here!” She stood up.  
Ross was confused. “Nonsense? What nonsense?”  
“The way you go on and on about your stupid dinosaurs. Newsflash, Ross, you’re not five anymore. Grow up!” Mandy snapped.  
“It’s my job,” Ross said, shocked and annoyed at the same time. Also, he felt a little bit of embarrassment hit him. She was talking loudly, and he could sense that people were looking at him. “A lot of people are paleontologists. It’s good to know that part of history.”  
Mandy rolled her eyes. “Those people are called nerds, Ross, and no one worth knowing cares about that part of history, or any part of history for that matter. My gosh you are such a bore!”  
Then why did you agree to go out with me if you found me so boring?” Ross asked, standing up, suddenly too angry to be embarrassed. “You seemed to find my jokes funny last night!”  
“Yeah, well I was just pretending to find them funny. Billy and I only agreed to go out with you and Monica because you’re both such losers we knew that going out with you would make him and I appreciate each other more,” Mandy said just as angrily.   
“I thought you two broke up,” Ross stated.  
“We never officially broke up. We were just fighting; that’s all. We were getting annoyed with each other, but we knew that going out with a couple of losers would make us see each other in a different light.” Mandy smirked. “Billy may be annoying at times, but at least he’s not a world class loser like you are!”  
“You’re evil. Just go.” Ross snapped. He sat down trying not to cry. He wasn’t really upset over the loss. There would be other girls, and frankly, she was not worth it. However, he was a little embarrassed, and he was human. As much as he hated to admit it, her words hurt. Even so, he wasn’t going to shed a tear for that stuck up witch.  
“Mind if I sit down?” Rachel asked.  
Ross looked up to see her sitting across from him. “When did you get here?”  
“About five minutes before you did. I’m on a date with Ian, or rather, I was.”  
Ross looked around. “Where is he?”  
Rachel sighed. “He left. We hadn’t ordered yet when we witnessed Mandy do what she did to you. He thought it was hilarious, and said he didn’t blame Mandy; that you are a bore.”  
“Lovely! Does everyone think I’m a bore?” Ross asked; annoyed.  
Rachel shook her head and gently placed her hand over his. “I don’t. I’m sorry your date was such a bitch. I’m also sorry my date was such a bastard. I broke it off with him right then and there.”  
Ross looked up at her in surprise. “You did?”  
Rachel nodded. “Did you actually think I’d stay with him after he laughed at you and called you a bore?”  
Ross smiled sweetly. “I can’t believe you did that for me.”  
Rachel shook her head, and gently rubbed his hand. “I did it for me. I don’t need to be dating someone stupid. If he can’t see what a wonderful, kind, sweet person you are, then I have no place in my life for him.”  
Ross wanted to cry again, but only because he was so touched. “Well, at least I can buy your dinner instead of Mandy’s. You’re much more deserving than she is.”  
“You know, I’m so glad you said that! Cuz Ian took his credit card with him, and I’m starved. It’s always more fun to eat when someone else pays,” Rachel said, patting his hand.  
They grinned at each other, then went about looking over their menus and talking about their days.  
“I should text Monica about Billy’s plans,” Ross said suddenly.  
“No. Let her find out on her own. If I know Monica, and I do, she’ll make sure Billy gets his just desserts.” Rachel grinned wickedly.  
Ross grinned too, for he knew that she was absolutely right!

Later that night, Monica and Billy finally sat down to dinner together. The conversation was light, but Monica noticed Billy didn’t try to participate in the conversation much.  
“So, what school did you used to go to?” Monica asked.  
Billy smirked. “The same school you did.”  
“That’s funny. I don’t remember you. What’s your last name again?” Monica asked.  
“Baker,” Billy replied.  
“I’m sorry, I don’t remember you,” Monica said.  
“That’s because you were too fat for me to associate with. I was on the basketball team. I was way too cool for the likes of a fatty like you. I steered clear of you,” Billy said simply. He continued to eat his dinner.  
“Excuse me?” Monica asked.  
“You can cook well, but then again, that’s no surprise. I’m sure you have a lot of experience cooking and eating what you make!” Billy said with a laugh.  
“Why did you even ask me out? Because I’m thin and pretty so now I’m good enough for you to date?” Monica asked.  
Billy laughed. “You may be world’s thinner than you were before, but if you ask me, you could still stand to lose a few pounds.”  
Monica gasped.   
“And as far as looks go, Honey, you’re no Miss America! I mean, you’re pretty sure, but nothing enough to write home about.” Billy finished his last bite of food and burped in her face. “Great meal though. Do you got any dessert?”  
“Why the hell did you ask me out?” Monica asked.  
Billy shrugged. “Mandy and I thought both thought it would be funny if we went out with losers. That way it makes her and I appreciate each other more. It worked! She can be a bit much sometimes, but she is a million times better than a moron like you.”  
“So, you two didn’t really break up?” Monica asked.  
Billy laughed. “Nope! That was just a rumor. Now where’s dessert? It’s getting late, and she’ll be expecting me home soon.”  
Monica smiled. “I’m sorry. I’ll go get it now. I sure hope you like it!”  
“Well, as I said, it is one thing you can do right so I’m sure I will,” Billy said, patting his stomach.  
Monica grabbed the dirty dishes. “I’ll be right back.” She went into the kitchen, set the dishes down in the sink, and then picked up the crème brûlée she had made. She brought it out to him.  
He licked his lips. “Mm… I love crème brûlée! Where’s the spoon?”  
“You won’t be needing one. She pulled out the collar of his shirt just wide enough for her to dump the crème brûlée down it, and then smacked his shirt against his chest, creating a splash of crème brûlée underneath his shirt. “Now get the hell out of my restaurant and never come back!” She stormed over to the door and unlocked it.  
Billy stood up quickly and clenched his fists. “This was a five hundred dollar shirt!”  
“Tell it to someone who cares! Maybe next time you’ll learn to spend your money on something more worth while like some morals!” Monica snapped.  
“As if you could buy those! Gosh, you really are a moron,” Billy said. “I lied. Your food tasted like crap anyway.” He then stormed out of the restaurant, and Monica locked the door behind him.  
She then sat back down at the table and covered her face with her hands. “What a jerk!” she screamed. She sighed, then looked around. She was beginning to think she’d never find Mr. Right. “Well, she said, “If nothing else, at least I have my own restaurant. Sort of…” She didn’t own it, but being the head chef was good enough for her. At least for now. She only wished she had a decent man to share it with, but so far, things weren’t looking very good.  
With the sigh, she headed back to the kitchen to begin cleaning up for the night. At least the cleaning would cheer her up she figured.

Phoebe couldn’t sleep well that night. She kept thinking of Joey, and had dreams of kissing him. She had no desire to make love with Mike, but had slept with him any way of course so as not to arouse suspicion, but in the morning she passed on sleeping with him again, claiming that she had menstrual cramps.  
She showered and dressed and left the apartment before he did to go to work. He had promised to lock up for her. He had a spare key.  
She had time before work, so she headed over to Chandler’s. She had to see Joey and see if he felt the same way.   
She knocked on the door and Chandler answered. “Hey Phoebe. What brings you here so early?” he asked her.  
“I came to see Joey,” Phoebe said. She knew it was crazy, but she had to see if he had feelings for her too. If he did, then she was seriously going to have to think about what to do next.  
Chandler smirked. “He’s kind of busy at the moment.”  
“Dong what?” Phoebe asked.  
Chandler didn’t have to answer her. A busty, pretty blonde woman came running out of his bedroom with nothing but a blanket wrapped around her.   
“Chelsea come back here with that blanket! It’s cold!” Joey said with a laugh as he ran after her with nothing but his boxers on.  
Chelsea ran into the bathroom with a giggle and closed the door behind her.  
Joey stopped short when he saw Phoebe. “Phoebe! What are you doing here?” He blushed.   
Phoebe shook her head. “Nothing. I just had a question, but never mind. I know the answer now.” She hugged Chandler. “Call me when you get a free day. It seems like I haven’t seen you in forever! We need to do lunch.”  
“I have a meeting today, but how’s tomorrow at say noon?” Chandler asked.  
“Perfect. See you then.” Phoebe then left without even bothering to say goodbye to Joey. Apparently, their day together had been nothing other than a friendly handout to him.  
“Well,” Phoebe said to herself as she headed to work. “At least now I have my answer.”  
“That was weird. Do you know anything about that?” Chandler asked once she was gone.  
Joey shook his head. “Women. Who knows?” Inside his heart was aching. He wanted to run out and see what she had really wanted, but his brain stopped him. He had to stop fantasizing about being with her. She clearly didn’t want him. However, there was a woman in the bathroom that did want him.  
He heard the sound of the shower turning on and Chelsea’s voice beckoning him to join her.  
He pushed Phoebe from his mind and went to join Chelsea. As much as he wanted Phoebe, he was through living in a fantasy world. Chelsea would just have to do for now.


	6. The One Where Phoebe's an Extra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey gets Phoebe a job as an extra and it doesn't go well.  
> Chandler realizes there's more to Janice than he originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know crime shows weren't a thing of the early 2000s, but for the sake of the story, please pretend they were. Thanks! :) Either that, or this story can be set in current time, only the characters will still be the same age they were in the early 2000s. Either way works. ;) Thank you so much!

The One Where Phoebe’s an Extra

Phoebe was really excited to see Chandler. They had had to cancel their previous plans because Chandler had ended up having to work late on a deadline. They hadn’t seen each other in over a week. She had been busy with Mike, and Chandler’s job was taking up a lot of his time, as was Janice. Phoebe really missed her best friend. Mike had to work the evening shift anyway, so it left her plenty of time to hang out with Chandler. So, once Mike left for work, she headed over to Chandler’s apartment.  
Phoebe was surprised when Janice opened the door.  
“Oh. My. God. Phoebe! It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever! How are you?” Janice gave her a big hug. Phoebe smiled big and hugged her in return, but her smile turned to a wince once she was hugging Janice. Janice was nice enough, sure, but oh how Phoebe hated that voice! It was like nails on a chalkboard. She also had to wonder what Janice was doing there.  
When they broke the hug, Phoebe gave her another smile. “So, what are you doing here?”  
“I got tickets to a dinner theater tonight. It’s one of those murder mystery dinners. I can’t wait! Chandler’s getting ready right now.” Janice then turned toward the bathroom door. “Come on, Chandler! We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry!” She turned to Phoebe. “I swear sometimes he takes longer than a woman to get ready.” She then laughed her obnoxious laugh that made Phoebe want to pull her own ears off.  
“Chandler hurry up!” Phoebe called out, desperate to get Janice out of there.  
Chandler finally came out of the bathroom. “Phoebs! What are you doing here?”  
Phoebe looked at him as if he had sprouted two heads. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Really? Did you not remember that we were going out for dinner tonight?”  
Suddenly it dawned on Chandler. “Oh no. I’m so sorry Phoebs! I thought that was tomorrow night; not tonight!”  
“I texted to you remind you,” Phoebe said with a pout.  
“I only glanced at it. I didn’t pay much attention. I just saw the ‘Don’t forget our dinner’ part.” Chandler blushed. “Oh, Phoebes, I’m so sorry!”  
“I was really looking forward to it too,” Phoebe said. “Now I’m going to have to go to dinner alone, and that’s going to make me look like a real loser!”  
“You know what? I can call a girlfriend to go with me instead. You had plans with him first. I can always get tickets for a different night to go with Chandler,” Janice said politely.  
Phoebe shook her head. “No, it’s fine.” Phoebe turned to Chandler. “Mike and I have plans for tomorrow, but how about Sunday?”  
“I’ll make it work. I’ll even pick you up at five so we get an early start and longer evening,” Chandler assured her.  
“Okay. But don’t you forget the date again or our friendship will be in serious danger!” Phoebe warned. “Okay not really, but you’ll really hurt my feelings if you forget again!”  
Chandler smiled, then hugged her. He kissed her cheek. “I won’t forget. I promise!”  
“See you later, Phoebe! Chandler was nice enough to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner, so I’ll see you at Monica’s next week!” Janice said as they left.  
Phoebe smiled. “Can’t wait! Don’t forget to wear baggy pants to make room for the food baby.”  
Janice let out her loud annoying laugh, and Phoebe made a mental note to not joke with her anymore. She couldn’t take the laugh.  
After Chandler and Janice had gone, Phoebe was about to leave herself, when suddenly Joey came out of his room. “Phoebs?”  
Phoebe jumped, then turned around to face him. “Joey! You scared me. I didn’t know you were here.” She tried not to notice how cute he looked with his ruffled hair, wrinkled t-shirt and plaid boxer shorts. He clearly had just woken up.  
Joey ran a hand through his hair. “I was taking a nap. It was a long day at work. What brings you here?”  
“Chandler and I were supposed to catch up over dinner, but he got the date mixed up and made plans with Janice. We’re going out Sunday instead,” Phoebe explained. “So, I guess I’ll go now.”  
“Well I’d hate for you to come all the way out here for nothing,” Joey said.  
“It’s only ten minutes away. It’s fine,” Phoebe assured him.  
“Even so, you were expecting dinner. Let me just get dressed and I’ll take you out,” Joey offered.  
Phoebe was tempted, but then she thought of the busty woman she had seen the last time she had been there, and she decided it wasn’t a good idea. “It’s fine. I think I’m just going to go home and eat a TV dinner or something.”  
Joey raised an eyebrow. “Do they even make meatless TV dinners?”  
Phoebe nodded. “Not as many as ones with meat, but they do.”  
Joey made a face. “Well, they can’t possibly be any good. Let me take you out. Seriously, I was about to look for some dinner myself. It will take me ten minutes to get ready, then we can go, all right? You can pick the place. You deserve better than some vegetarian TV dinner that tastes like cardboard.”  
Phoebe gave him a weak smile. “Okay.” She hated herself for giving into him, but he looked so cute, and he was being so nice to her. She couldn’t help but say yes.  
Joey smiled a smile that melted her heart. “Okay, great! I’ll be right there.” He disappeared into his room for a second, and then headed into the bathroom.  
Phoebe plopped herself down onto the couch with a sigh, hoping that she hadn’t made a mistake in saying yes to him.

“So, how is Chelsea doing?” Phoebe asked as they ate their dinner.  
“Who?” Joey asked. He took a bite of his burger, then washed it down with a Coke.  
“That blonde woman you were with the last time you and I saw each other,” Phoebe reminded him. “You know, the big busty blonde that stole your blanket?” She fought to not roll her eyes.  
Joey grinned big. “Oh! Chelsea! I forgot that was her name. I’m not sure how she’s doing. There’s been like five other girls since her. I don’t usually stick with one woman for too long.” He shrugged. “I get bored easily.”  
“That’s disgusting! What’s the point in going from woman to woman if you never mean for anything to happen?” Phoebe asked.  
Joey laughed. “Believe me, stuff happens.” He winked at her. “Very good stuff.”  
This time, Phoebe didn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. “You know what I mean! Are you really happy in a relationship that is just sex?”  
“As long as she’s good in bed, then yes!” Joey said. He then grinned again, apparently proud of himself.  
“Well that’s just stupid!” Phoebe slapped the table.  
Joey was a little taken aback. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”  
Phoebe shook her head. “You didn’t. I just think you’d be a lot happier if you stuck to one woman. That’s all.” She didn’t meet his eyes. She couldn’t. The truth was, she was angry not just because he was with multiple women. What upset her was the fact that he loved women, but he never even bothered to hit on her. He apparently just wanted to be her friend. She wanted to ask him why that was, but she knew she couldn’t dare. She was dating Mike, It would be highly inappropriate to ask Joey why he didn’t want to date her. Anyway, it’s not like she could date Joey even if she did want to date him. She loved Mike and was very happy with him. Even so, she still hated the thought of him with all these trashy women. She had had her share of men in her life, but at least when she went out with men, she planned on making them her boyfriend. She wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of girl, and couldn’t understand those who were.  
Joey reached across the table as she was deep in thought, and placed his hands over hers. “Look, I’m sorry, Phoebe. It’s just who I am. I know it seems kind of sleazy, but I promise you I make it clear to whomever I’m with ahead of time that I’m not looking for anything serious. At least, most of the time I do…if I remember to.” He glanced over at the table next to them. “Ooh! The dessert cart!” The couple at the table next door was being shown the desserts by their waiter.  
Phoebe couldn’t help but smile. He was so cute sometimes. She sighed. “It’s fine.”  
Joey turned his attention back to her. “Sorry. I have a short attention span.” He grinned. “Let me get some of that dessert, and then I want to tell you something that I know you’re going to love.”  
Phoebe was intrigued. “All right, fine. But I want some cheesecake!”

“So, what is it you wanted to tell me?” Phoebe asked over her cheesecake. She secretly hoped he was going to tell her he had feelings for her, but she knew she was crazy to think that.  
“Remember when you told me you always wanted to try acting and I said that I could get you a part as an extra on Days?” Joey asked her before taking another bite of his chocolate cake.  
Phoebe stopped eating. “Yes?”  
Joey swallowed his cake and answered her. “Well, I got you a part as a nurse! You film tomorrow. Just drop by my place at seven and we’ll go together. We film at nine. That’s in the morning; not at night.” He grinned at her.  
“For real?” Phoebe asked smiling big.  
Joey nodded. “For real!”  
Phoebe squealed, then got up out of her seat and kissed him hard on the cheek. “Oh my gosh, Joey, thank you! Ooh, I’m so excited!”  
Joey smiled big. “You’re very welcome.”  
“What should I wear?” Phoebe asked as she sat back down in her seat.  
Joey laughed. “We have a wardrobe department that will take care of that.”  
Phoebe blushed. “Oh. Yeah. Duh!” Then she thought of something. “Will I have any lines?”  
Joey nodded. “Of course! You didn’t think I’d get you a part with no lines, did you?”  
Phoebe shrugged, still smiling.  
“You won’t have a lot of lines, but I think you have three or four. It’s nothing major. That reminds me, I need to give you your script page when we get back to my place. Remind me.” Joey sipped his drink.  
“How did you get me a part so easily?” Phoebe asked in awe.  
“I slept with the casting director. She’s a real babe, so it was no real sacrifice. Don’t worry about it,” Joey said before taking another sip of his Coke.  
Phoebe nearly spit her drink out. “What?”  
Joey burst out laughing. “Relax! I was joking. I have a little clout there. Everyone likes me.” He grinned. “I asked them to do me a favor and they said all right.”  
Phoebe was relieved. “Well, thank you, Joey. I owe you one.”  
Joey shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything. But if you were going to owe me something, the rest of that cheesecake is looking pretty damn good!”  
Phoebe shook her head and laughed, and pushed it on over to him.  
He grinned.

Chandler was amazed at Janice’s ability to detect the murderer. She figured it out almost right away and won them a certificate for a free meal, plus fifty dollars.  
“You were incredible! I suck at these things,” Chandler said to her after the murder mystery dinner had ended.  
Janice smiled, and took his arm. “It was nothing! I love watching crime shows with my dad, which makes it sound like we’ll both end up being serial killers, but don’t worry, only he did.”  
Chandler looked at her, his eyes wide. “What was that?”  
Janice laughed, and Chandler only partially winced.  
“I was just kidding!” She playfully slapped his arm. “He is quite the opposite. He is one of the kindest people you will ever know. Seriously though, when you watch that many crime shows, you end up getting good at solving murders.”  
“I guess you should have become a cop then!” Chandler joked.  
Janice laughed, and he didn’t even notice her laugh this time. “I guess I should have! I am pretty tough for a woman. I don’t know, I guess I never really thought about it. I always thought being a police officer was a man’s job. That’s entirely sexist, I know. Nowadays lots of women are police officers. I don’t know. I think I prefer cutting hair. Still, it’s fun to try to guess who the killer is on these shows.”  
Chandler took her hand and gently squeezed it. “Maybe we can watch a crime show marathon together one of these days and you can teach me how you figure it out so easy.”  
Janice squeezed his hand and smiled at him. “I’d like that!”  
“So, what are you going to do with the fifty dollars you won?” Chandler asked her.  
“We can split it!” Janice said with a smile up at him.  
Chandler shook his head. “You won it fair and square. I had no idea who the murderer was.”  
Janice rested her head on his shoulder. “I don’t mind sharing.”  
“Nope! It’s all yours,” Chandler assured her.  
“Well, then I’m going to buy you something nice with it,” Janice insisted.  
Chandler stopped walking and faced her. “Why are you so nice?” He smiled.  
“Because I really like you, Chandler. You make me happier then I’ve been in a long time. I feel so blessed to have met you, and I just want to share the happiness with you that you give me.”  
Chandler felt his heart warm. He pulled her in and kissed her. “I really like you too, Janice. I like you even more than I thought I would.”  
Janice kissed his cheek. “You know, ID Discovery is always airing crime show marathons. There’s some pretty good ones on there. Care to come back to my place and we can watch some?”  
Chandler smiled. “I wish I could, but I can’t. But how about we spend the dinner certificate next weekend, and then we can come back to your place after or mine, and watch a crime show marathon then? But not on Sunday. Phoebe would kill me.”  
Janice smiled. “Sounds perfect!”  
“And then maybe I could stay the night or you could stay the night, cuz the crime shows might scare me, and you said yourself you’re tough. I’d feel safer being with you at night,” Chandler teased.  
Janice laughed. “You got yourself an all night date, Chandler Bing!”  
They kissed again, and Chandler walked her home. “I’d stay, but I’m tired from having worked overtime so much this week.”  
“It’s okay. I understand. It will give me something to look forward to later,” Janice said.  
Chandler kissed her again and wished her goodnight.  
“Goodnight, Chandler Bing,” Janice said with a smile before she disappeared into her apartment.  
Chandler smiled and waved. “Good night, Janice Litman,” he said quietly as he headed back to his own apartment. He had really enjoyed the night. He had surprised himself. At first, he had thought she was annoying, but she was actually starting to grow on him—a lot. He smiled as he thought of her, and whistled a happy toon as he walked the two remaining blocks to his apartment.

Phoebe was excited for her first role as an actress. She had studied her four lines all night and was ready to play the nurse. She had even gone over her lines with Joey before they headed to the studio and she did fine.  
When they got to the studio, she was separated from Joey briefly as they each got swept away to get their hair, makeup, and wardrobe taken care of. Then, finally, they met back on the soundstage and prepared to film their scene.  
It started off with Joey as Dr. Drake Ramoray talking to another doctor as they performed a very important surgery on a patient who had fallen off the roof and broken nearly every bone in his body.  
“Nurse Regina, I need a scalpel,” Joey said to Phoebe as Nurse Regina.  
Phoebe was all nerves as she headed over to him with the tray of surgical tools. “Here’s your scalpel, Dr. Ramoray.” She was just about to him when her foot hit a rolling table leg and she fell flat on her face. Tools flew everywhere. The scalpel went flying and landed on the bed on its side.  
“Cut!” the director yelled.  
Joey ran over to Phoebe and helped her up. “Are you okay, Phoebs?”  
“Yeah.” Phoebe stood up and ran her hands over her uniform. “I’m fine. Just a little embarrassed; that’s all.”  
Joey handed her her nurse’s cap that had fallen. “Don’t be. It could happen to anyone. They put the table right in your way.”  
A crew member rolled the table out of the way, and they tried the scene again.  
This time, Phoebe was able to get through that part of the scene just fine, but then she was still so flustered that she forgot her second line. Instead of announcing that the patient was coding, she fell silent.  
“Phoebs! Your line,” Joey whispered to her.  
“Oh! Ugh… He’s in a coma!” Phoebe said. Then she realized what she had just said and slapped her forehead. “Coding! He’s coding!”  
“Cut!” the director yelled, exasperated again. He then turned to Joey. “I thought you said she was good!”  
Joey turned and snapped at him. “She is! Will you back off? She’s just a little nervous; that’s all.”  
They tried the scene again, and all was going well until the patient who was supposed to be in a coma sneezed, and Phoebe burst out laughing. She couldn’t stop laughing either. “He’s supposed to be out with anesthesia, and he sneezed! You better give him some more anesthesia!” she joked.  
The director had had it. “Cut! That’s it! She’s out. Sorry, Joey, but we don’t have time for this. Bring in Delia. She’s an extra for the next scene, but we have enough extras in that scene that we can lose her in that scene and put her in this one instead. No one will no the difference.”  
“So, I’m fired?” Phoebe asked Joey; crushed.  
Joey nodded. “I’m afraid so, Phoebs. I’m sorry.”  
Phoebe ran off set toward her dressing room.  
Joey ran after her. “Phoebs, I’m so sorry you got fired! I know how much you wanted to be on TV.”  
Phoebe turned to him and shook her head. She had tears in her eyes, and it broke Joey’s heart. “I’m not upset about being fired.” She nodded toward the set. “Though Coma guy in there sneezed and he didn’t get yelled at. Talk about double standards! Did that not interrupt the scene too?”  
“Why are you crying if you’re not upset you lost the part?” Joey asked her.  
“Because I embarrassed you,” Phoebe said simply.  
Joey was confused. “Phoebe, you didn’t embarrass me. Why would you think that?”  
Phoebe looked him in the eyes. “Why? Isn’t it obvious? You went out of your way to brag me up and tell them I’m so good, only for me to suck. I tripped. I dropped things. Heck, I could have taken an eye out with that scalpel!”  
Joey smirked. “Not really. The prop scalpels are no sharper than a butter knife—the smooth side of one.”  
“I forgot my line. I mean, come on. ‘He’s in a coma’? What am I stupid?” Phoebe shook her head and looked away.  
“Phoebe, you are not stupid!” Joey insisted. “Will you look at me?” He gently moved her face so that she was forced to look at him. “If any one is stupid it’s me. I don’t always get jokes, I mess up on my lines too like a lot. I don’t know what a lot of words mean that most people know… You on the other hand are smart about things that matter. You’re funny, and sweet, you sing these amazing songs that I would never think to write. You’re the most caring person I know.” And I love you… But of course, he couldn’t tell her that.  
Phoebe stopped crying. She smiled a little. “You really think all those things about me?”  
Joey nodded. “You know it! You’re all of those things and more.”  
“Well if you think that about me then you’re obviously not stupid either,” Phoebe teased.  
Joey grinned.  
“But seriously, Joey, thank you. And you’re not stupid either. Talk about funny, you’re the funny one! You make me laugh even more than Chandler or Mike does, and you treat me like a princess.” Phoebe placed a hand over his shoulder. “I always feel special when I’m with you.”  
“That’s because you are special.” Joey smiled. “It has nothing to do with me.”  
Phoebe smiled back at him.  
“Tribbiani! You’re wanted on set!” someone called out just then.  
Joey turned to them. “I’ll be right there!” he yelled back.  
He then turned to Phoebe. “Are you going to stick around, or…?”  
Phoebe shook her head. “I think I’m just going to go to Central Perk for a pick me up. It’s only noon, and it’s already been a long day.”  
Joey nodded. “All right.” He hugged her. “Are you okay now?”  
Phoebe hugged him back tightly. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”  
“Tribbiani, now!”  
Joey sighed. “If I didn’t need this job so much I’d tell them all where to go,” he said to Phoebe.  
Phoebe giggled. “Go do your thing, hot stuff!” She playfully pinched his cheek.  
He grinned at her, and then kissed her cheek and went back on set.  
Phoebe sighed dreamily and touched her cheek as she left. It was too bad that he was such a player. In her opinion, he could have any woman he wanted…including her…if he were the type to settle down, but he wasn’t. It was okay though because she was with Mike and she loved him. She really did. Though, she had a feeling she could love Joey too…maybe even more than she loved Mike. However, since Joey wasn’t a one woman man, there was no use in even toying with the idea of her and Joey as a couple, she knew. Then again, it never hurt to at least fantasize.  
She left the studio smiling, and thinking about Joey.


	7. The One Where Joey and Phoebe Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janice finds out everyone finds her annoying.  
> Joey and Phoebe give into their desires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Thank you so much for reading. After this one I'm posting now, there will be three more chapters, and then I am starting a new Joey and Phoebe story taking place right where the actual show left off, or slightly after. I hope you enjoy this week's chapter!

**The One Where Phoebe and Joey Kiss ******

********

********

Thanksgiving Day had arrived, and before partaking of their annual Thanksgiving dinner, the gang was playing football in the park, girls against guys. They had an extra girl since Janice was there, but the guys, with such sexist thinking, said it would still be even since they knew how to play football and the girls didn’t.  
“Don’t know how to play my ass!” Phoebe yelled.  
“We’re going to crush them!” Monica said, giving her brother the evil eye.  
“Well, technically, I’m not the greatest at football,” Rachel admitted. “And I did just have my nails done for Thanksgiving, so maybe I’ll just watch.”  
“Ah come on, Rachel! Toughen up!” Janice said, playfully slapping her on the back.  
Rachel winced because of both Janice’s irksome voice and the strength from the slap.  
“All right, fine!” She didn’t like anyone implying she was a wimp—especially not someone who barely knew her.  
They flipped a coin to see who got the ball first, and Ross won the coin toss with Monica.  
“Ha! In your face!” He yelled at Monica who in turn stuck her tongue out at him.  
“I want to be the receiver!” Joey insisted.  
“I’m the receiver!” Chandler insisted.  
“You always get to be the receiver, I want to be the receiver this time!” Joey said with a stop of his foot.  
Phoebe giggled behind her hand. He could act like a child sometimes, but she found it adorable.  
Chandler sighed, and rolled his eyes. “Fine. Whatever.” He stood behind Ross who was ready to hike the ball.  
He hiked it to Chandler who then tossed the ball to Joey.  
Joey ran backwards, in preparing to catch the ball. To his excitement, he caught it easily, and then turned to run for the touch down. Unfortunately, he didn’t see Janice coming up being him and just as he was about to get to the designated touchdown spot, Janice tackled him from the side and Monica was right behind her, and lunged at him as well. This caused both women to make him fall to the ground hard on his shoulder. It didn’t help that the girls fell on top of him, pressing his right shoulder down even harder to the ground. To top things off, he lost the ball.  
“Ow! Guys, get off of me!” Joey complained.  
“Sorry!” Monica said, quickly standing up.  
Janice stood up too. “Sorry. I thought you’d be a little tougher! I guess sometimes I don’t know my own strength,” Janice said, offering him a hand.  
Joey took it and stood up, rubbing his arm. It really hurt, but he didn’t want to admit it. “I’m fine.”  
Phoebe ran over to him. “Are you all right? That was quite a tackle! You went down hard!”  
“I’m fine.” Joey repeated.  
“You didn’t break anything did you?” Phoebe asked.  
Joey moved his arm around. His shoulder hurt, but it wasn’t unbearable. “I’m good!” he said.  
“All right. If you’re sure.” Phoebe was worried about him.  
Joey smiled at her. “No worries.”  
Phoebe smiled back. She could never not smile when he smiled.  
They continued the game then. Joey suffered through, not letting any of them know his arm hurt. He didn’t want to look like a wuss—especially not in front of Phoebe. However, he did avoid playing wide receiver since then. 

When the game was finally over, they all headed into Monica’s for dinner. It was just the seven of them. Mike was having Thanksgiving with his family. He had invited Phoebe, but she hadn’t wanted to miss Monica’s annual Thanksgiving dinner. Monica was always so thoughtful and made Phoebe her own mini tofu turkey, or as Phoebe liked to call it, a “tofurkey.”  
“I’m so excited to share Thanksgiving with you guys this year!” Joey said, for it was his first Thanksgiving with them.  
“Ditto for me!” Janice said as the dishes got passed around.  
“Dude! Save some for the rest of us,” Chandler said to Joey as he piled on a ton of everything.  
“Do you have any extra plates?” Joey asked Monica.  
“Joey! Did you not just hear what I said?” Chandler asked, half amused, half annoyed.  
“It’s fine! Don’t worry. I made extra. I’ve seen how that boy eats,” Monica said. “I also got an extra large turkey, so there’s plenty for everyone.”  
“But not me! I will not be part of the turkey massacre,” Phoebe said.  
“It’s already dead, Phoebe. You might as well have some and not have had the bird die in vain,” Rachel said to her.  
Phoebe shook her head. “Nope! I just couldn’t!”  
“I don’t know how you can eat that stuff. I mean, Tofu? Yuck!” Ross said.  
“I think it’s delicious,” Phoebe insisted.  
“I don’t know, Monica is a pretty amazing cook, but I don’t think even she could get me to eat tofu,” Chandler commented.  
“Well, you don’t have to worry about it because it’s all mine!” Phoebe snapped. She was starting to get annoyed by people harassing her about being a vegetarian.  
“Well I think it’s great that you care about animals so much, and that you stick by your convictions and don’t let people pressure you into eating something you don’t want to eat,” Joey said to her.  
“Oh my gosh, Joey just said something smart!” Chandler teased.  
Everyone but Phoebe laughed, and Janice laughed the loudest of all.  
Everyone but Janice winced.  
Phoebe gently stroked Joey’s cheek. “Thank you, Joey. At least I have somebody who acts like a real friend.”  
Joey grinned, feeling the butterflies that only she could give him.  
Monica rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, Phoebs. We’re just teasing you.”  
They had a nice dinner, and they were all stuffed to the max after dessert.  
“Monica, you sure are a phenomenal cook! Thank you so much for such a wonderful meal!” Janice said, patting her stomach. “Gosh, I think you’re going to have to roll me out of here. I think I put on twenty pounds just with that one meal!”  
“That’s okay. I have a great rolling pin. I can roll the pounds right out of you!” Monica joked.  
Janice laughed even louder and more annoyingly nasal than ever, causing everyone else to wince yet again. “Ugh! I better go potty before we leave,” she said to Chandler.  
Chandler nodded. “Okay.”  
Monica told her where they bathroom was.  
As soon as Janice was in the bathroom, Monica groaned.  
“My gosh that woman is so annoying! I mean don’t get me wrong, she’s nice, but that voice! It’s worse than nails on a chalkboard!”  
“I keep hearing Fran Drescher. How the heck do you put up with that on a regular basis?” Ross asked Chandler.  
“I try my best to tune it out,” Chandler replied. He grinned. “I guess I should get some earplugs. If I put them far enough in my ears, maybe she won’t notice them.”  
“Get some flesh colored ones!” Phoebe suggested.  
Joey nodded. “The further in your ears, the more you block her out!”  
“How does she even talk like that anyway?” Rachel asked. She then did her best imitation of Janice. “Oh, Chandler, you’re so funny! Haaaaaah!”  
None of them saw Janice standing in the hallway. She had realized she had her time of the month and had wanted to ask Monica if she had a pad or tampon she could use. She cleared her throat and headed into the main room. “Monica, I’m having a feminine problem.” She blushed. “Do you have anything I can use?”  
Monica flushed. “Sure! I have a box of tampons in the bathroom closet. Help yourself.”  
“Thanks!” Janice said quietly. She then quickly headed back to the bathroom.  
“Do you think se heard us?” Monica whispered.  
“I doubt it. She was in the bathroom,” Rachel said.  
“I don’t think she could. It’s down the hall, and with the door closed it’s even harder to hear,” Chandler said. He wasn’t worried.  
A few minutes later, Janice came out of the bathroom, seemingly as if nothing were wrong. She smiled at Chandler. “Are you ready to go?”  
Chandler nodded. “You bet!” He helped her get her coat on.  
“Thank you again Monica, for such a delicious meal,” Janice said.  
“You’re very welcome. You’re welcome back next year too if you’d like. You’re even welcome if you get sick of Chandler and kick his sorry ass to the curb by then,” Monica joked.  
Janice smiled, but didn’t laugh this time. “Thank you.”  
They said their goodbyes to everyone, and then they left.  
“I guess we better be going too,” Rachel said, referring to her and Ross.  
Monica raised an eyebrow. “‘We’?”  
“We’re going to see a nine o’clock movie together. It’s that new comedy with Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller—Overstuffed,” Ross explained.  
Monica grinned. “Together? Like a date?”  
Rachel and Ross looked at each other nervously and they both laughed.  
“No. We’re just going as two friends. Nothing to see here,” Ross said.  
Monica’s eyes lit up. “Well, then you won’t mind if I join you!” She had already taken care of the clean up. After all, she couldn’t stand a mess for more than five minutes.  
Ross and Rachel looked at each other. Neither one of them seemed thrilled with her joining them, but then their faces both lit up so as not to let on that they would prefer to go just the two of them.  
“All right, cool!” Rachel said.  
“You’re buying the popcorn!” Monica said to Ross.  
“Hey, why me?” Ross asked.  
“Because you’re the guy, and guys pay for the girls,” Monica explained. She turned to Phoebe and Joey. “You guys coming too?”  
Joey shook his head. “No, I think I’m just going to go back home and sleep off this trippy fan.”  
Ross laughed. “It’s called “Tryptophan, Joey.”  
“Whatever!” Joey said with a shrug, then winced.  
He and Phoebe stood up, and left the apartment with them.  
Monica locked up behind them.  
Monica, Rachel, and Ross, bid Phoebe and Joey ado, and then left.  
“Well, have a goodnight,” Joey said to Phoebe, eager to go back to his apartment and take some pain reliever for his arm. It had been hurting him all through dinner.  
“Not so fast, Tribbiani!” Phoebe said, gently grabbing his good arm.  
“What?” Joey asked.  
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you rubbing your arm all evening. It still hurts, doesn’t it?” Phoebe asked, crossing her arms over her chest.  
Joey shook his head. “No it doesn’t. It feels fine!”  
Phoebe gently squeezed his hurt shoulder.  
“Owie!” Joey cried out. He then covered his mouth.  
Phoebe nodded toward the stairs. “Come on.”  
“Where?” Joey asked. “I don’t want to go to the ER. We’ll be there all night!”  
Phoebe shook her head. “I’m not taking you to the ER. I’m taking you to my apartment. I’m a masseuse, remember? I’m going to massage it for you.”  
Joey just wanted to go back into his apartment and take some pain pills. However, a massage from Phoebe in her apartment was way too much for him to pass up on. He didn’t care if he was in a full body cast, he would have rolled himself there if he had to! “All right.” He tried to sound begrudging, but on the inside, he was screaming with excitement.  
He followed Phoebe out of the building and got into her car. He suddenly didn’t care about the pain anymore.

“Janice, are you okay?” Chandler asked Janice as they entered her apartment.  
Janice looked up at him. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”  
Chandler shrugged. “I don’t know. You just seem kind of quiet.”  
Janice set her purse down on the counter. “I thought that’s what you and your friends preferred—for me to be quiet.”  
Chandler winced. “You heard us after dinner, didn’t you?”  
Janice looked him in the eyes, the hurt evident in them. “If you’re asking if I heard all of you mocking my voice, then yes, Chandler, I heard you. I also heard you say you wish you had ear plugs to block out the sound of my annoying voice.”  
“I didn’t say those exact words,” Chandler said gently.  
“Close enough!” Janice insisted.  
Chandler reached out to her. “Look, Janice, about that… I’m sorry.”  
Janice quickly pulled away from him. “Why be sorry? You meant it, right?”  
“I shouldn’t have been so cruel. You’re a wonderful person, and I’m so lucky to be dating you.” Chandler wasn’t lying. Though, he did really hate that voice.  
“Why do you want to date me if I annoy you so much?” Janice asked him, tears welling up in her eyes. “Why don’t you just dump me and find someone with a less annoying voice like Monica?”  
Chandler laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation. “Me and Monica? No way! She would drive me nuts with her OCD when it comes to cleaning and everything else. It would be too weird. We’re just not compatible in that way.”  
Janice shook her head. “I think you should leave. I know we were supposed to spend the night together, but I’m on my period, and I just can’t be with you tonight anyway, knowing that I annoy you so much.”  
“Janice, please. I don’t want us to break up. I really do want to be with you,” Chandler tried. “I’m an ass. I’m sorry. I can do better.” Chandler didn’t usually beg, but there was just something about Janice that despite her annoyance, he really liked, and he didn’t want to have to give her up.  
Janice’s eyes filled with more tears. “I want to be with you too, Chandler, but I’m going to need some time to think about this. I need to think if I can be with you when I know you hate my voice, and your friends do too. I mean, I’m always going to be aware of it now!”  
“I can give you time. I just don’t want to lose you,” Chandler said quietly. He hadn’t even known her that long, but she had grown on him. She really had. He was just starting to really like her.  
“Goodnight, Chandler. I’ll let you know my decision when I’ve made it. I can’t tell you how long that will be, but I promise to call you either way when I know.” Janice walked over to the door and opened it, then stepped aside.  
Chandler nodded. “All right.” He tried to kiss her cheek, but she backed away. He looked down to the ground, suddenly feeling ashamed. “Goodnight.”  
He then left, and heard the door gently clock closed behind him.  
He headed home feeling like crap, and worried that he had blown it, and that he had just lost Janice forever. He knew there were other fish in the sea, but for once, it didn’t matter to him. Right now, he only wanted Janice, and he may have just blown his chance with her, he knew.  
“Nice job, Chandler Bing,” Chandler scolded himself as he headed outside and walked home feeling more miserable than the homeless man he passed on the street.

“You’re lucky. I just got my new scented massage oils in,” Phoebe said as Joey lay down on his stomach on her massage table in her apartment. Mike wouldn’t be back until the next day.  
“Sounds good,” Joey said, a little embarrassed, and yet at the same time a little turned on at the thought of Phoebe massaging him. He was in his jeans, but had taken off his shirt of course, so that Phoebe could massage his sore shoulder.  
“Would you like ocean breeze or piña colada?” Phoebe asked him.  
“Piña Colada sounds good,” Joey replied.  
“Kay.” Phoebe turned the radio on. It was playing songs of the 80s and 90s. “Wouldn’t it be funny if that Piña colada song came on?” she asked.  
Joey laughed. “Yeah, it would!”  
Phoebe opened the bottle, then squeezed a generous amount onto her hands. She set the bottle down, then warmed the oil between her hands. “I’ll try to be gentle,” she promised before placing her hands over the sore area.  
Joey moaned as she rubbed the oil into his shoulder. “It’s feeling better already,” he said.  
She smiled. “Well, I am the best at what I do.” She continued to work his shoulder. “It’s all knotted up. No wonder you’re in pain. I’m not hurting you, am I?”  
“No,” he murmured. “It feels nice.”  
She finished with the one shoulder, then worked on the other one. She felt his tense muscles relaxing under her fingers. “At least nothing appears to be broken or sprained,” she said quietly.  
“Careless Whisper” was playing on the radio, and they were both silent as she worked her magic on his back, and he just enjoyed the massage.  
She had decided to massage his back as well since she was already there. Then she moved on to his arms and hands, and then finally his neck, before going back to his shoulders just to make sure they were still okay.  
The song had ended, and Meatloaf’s “Anything for Love” came on.  
“Well, I guess that’s it. Do you feel better?” she asked him.  
He rolled over onto his back and smiled up at her. “I actually do! Thanks, Phoebs.”  
She smiled, and held a hand out to him. “Any time.”  
He let her help him up into a sitting position. “You’re a really good friend to me, “Phoebe.”  
“You are to me too,” she said with a shrug. “You stood up for me when everyone else was making fun of me being a vegetarian. I mean, nobody loves meat more than you, but you still stood up for me being a vegetarian, and I really appreciate it. I hate being harassed because of my choices.”  
“I’d never harass you. You’re too beautiful and sweet to harass,” Joey said to her. She looked so beautiful, and she had given him the best massage he had ever had. He wanted her more than ever now.  
“You really think I’m beautiful?” Phoebe asked.  
Joey decided to be brave, and he pulled her closer to him. His eyes lowered. “So, so beautiful,” he murmured.  
Her eyes lowered too, and with neither of them knowing who leaned in first, they found themselves kissing. Suddenly, their kisses got more passionate, and Joey gently pulled her down onto the table with him. He laid her down on her back on top of the table, and straddled her as they continued to kiss even more passionately yet.  
Phoebe ran her hands over his back, and he dared to unbutton her blouse. When she didn’t stop him, he kissed down her neck and over the sides of her breasts that weren’t covered by her bra.  
She threw her head back and tangled her fingers in his hair. She had never wanted anyone so badly in her life—not even Mike. Mike… The thought of him snapped her back to reality. Mike didn’t deserve to be cheated on. She loved him, she really did. She knew he loved her as well. He was so good to her, and this was how she repaid him? She knew it was wrong. But if it was wrong, then why did Joey’s lips on her body feel so right?  
Joey ran his hands under her shirt and up her back as he continued to kiss her. He couldn’t believe his luck! Phoebe finally wanted him too. For a while there, he had thought she would never want him in the way he wanted her, but now… Now he knew she wanted him too, and he was over the moon. He couldn’t get enough of her. He was intoxicated by her. His fingers found the latch to her bra, but before he could unhook it, she stopped him.  
“Joey, wait. Please, stop,” Phoebe said gently.  
Joey immediately stopped. “What’s wrong?”  
“I can’t go any further with you. I can’t do that to Mike,” she said, looking remorseful.  
Joey felt the disappointment instantly creep inside of him. “So you still want to be with Mike?”  
Phoebe nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what this was, but it was a mistake. I got carried away by the massage, the love song, your sweet words… I’m sorry, but it can never happen again. We need to stay just friends.”  
“But Phoebe, we could be so good together if you just give us a chance!” Joey insisted.  
Phoebe bit her lip and shook her head. “No. It would never work for us, Joey. Besides, I love Mike. I’m in love with Mike; not you. This isn’t right.”  
“Your damn right it’s not right,” Joey said, though he was referring to her rejection of him. “I know you don’t think so now, but we could be amazing together. You obviously don’t love Mike as much as you think you do, or you wouldn’t have been making out with me. We really could be amazing together, Phoebs.” He put his shirt back on and took her hands in his. “If you just give us a shot, I know I can make you happy. So happy! I’ll treat you like a princess every day of your life.”  
Phoebe looked away. “Please, just go, Joey. For me?”  
Joey sighed. “Fine.” He got up off the table, grabbed his coat, and headed for the door.  
“Do you need a ride?” Phoebe asked, remembering that she had driven him there.  
“I’ll walk. I could use the cool air,” he said before taking off.  
He didn’t care what Phoebe said. They were perfect for each other, and after what happened tonight, he knew that despite what she had said, she did have romantic feelings for him too.  
He flashed back to touching her and kissing her, and felt his whole body ache for her. After what had just happened between them, there was no way in hell he was giving up on her now! He smiled despite himself. It looked like this year, he had something, or rather someone, to be extra thankful for.  
Phoebe buried her face in her hands once he left. She could still hear him in her head. “I’ll treat you like a princess every day of your life!”  
“You already do, Joey. You already do,” She whispered as she locked the door. But the fact remained that she loved Mike. He was amazing, and she knew she was so lucky to have him. Not every woman was that lucky to have a man like Mike! She knew she’d be a fool to let him go. As for Joey, well, Joey was amazing, but he was also a womanizer. It would only be a matter of time before he got bored with her and broke her heart, she knew. After all she had gone through in life, she just didn’t have it in her to have her heart broken like that again. As far as she was concerned, being with Joey, was not an option.  
She blew out the candles she had lit and turned off the radio and lights. She then headed to bed, trying her best not to think of Joey, and how good his lips had felt on her body.


	8. The One With all the Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chandler and Joey drown their sorrows. Joey stumbles upon something shocking. Phoebe blows up and Joey.

The One With all the Chaos

Phoebe knew she had stopped it. It had only been a few kisses. Heck, Joey had done more of the kissing than she had. Though, she hadn’t been complaining. She felt so guilty. She knew she couldn’t continue her relationship with Mike without confessing to him what had happened. She didn’t want this lie to be looming over them for the rest of their lives. As far as she was concerned, yes, omitting important information was lying. Mike needed to know that she and Joey had made out. He also had to know that it meant nothing.  
She was nervous when she heard the lock open. This is it. She had to tell him now before she chickened out.  
Mike entered the apartment, and smiled at her. “He, Babe!” He shut the door, then kissed her. “I missed you so much!”  
“I missed you too,” she smiled.   
“Sorry I didn’t get a chance to call you. Thanksgiving with the family is always so crazy. You’re lucky you weren’t there. Maybe next year I’ll be smart like you and eat Thanksgiving at Monica’s.” He plopped himself down onto the couch.  
“I’m sure she’d love to have you.” Phoebe was nervous.   
“So, how was your Thanksgiving? Was it as crazy as mine? My mom got into a huge fight with my aunt, and my aunt threw mashed potatoes at her. It was hilarious, really. My mom was seething mad, but kept her cool other than some name calling.” Mike grinned.  
Phoebe laughed. “I’d have loved to have seen that!” She sighed. “Actually, something kind of crazy did happen.”  
Mike was intrigued. He raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What? Did Monica go postal on someone for not having proper dinner table etiquette?”  
Again, Phoebe laughed. “You know her well, but no, thankfully, not this year.” Phoebe sat down in a chair in front of him. She didn’t have the strength to stand any longer. “We played football and Joey hurt his shoulder when both Chandler’s girlfriend Janice and Monica tackled him to the ground.”  
Mike laughed. “A grown man was tackled by two women?”  
“He’s not as strong as some men.” But he’s sexier than all of them put together… Phoebe couldn’t tell him that part. After dinner, Chandler and Janice left, and Monica went with Ross and Rachel to a movie. Joey’s arm was hurting him, so I took him back to our place to massage his shoulder.  
Mike’s expression suddenly turned stern. “I hope he wasn’t naked except for a towel.”  
Phoebe shook her head. “No, there was no towel.”  
Mike’s eyes practically bugged out of his head.   
Phoebe quickly explained herself. “I mean there was no need to be! He kept his pants on. He only had his shirt off.”  
Mike relaxed a bit. “So you fixed his shoulder and he left.”  
Phoebe nodded, and Mike looked visibly relieved.  
Phoebe sighed. “But there were candles, and a love song was playing, and he said the sweetest things to me. Somehow we ended up kissing before he left. I don’t remember who kissed whom.”  
Mike gripped the arm of the couch tightly, his face going cold.  
Phoebe decided just to come out with it and get it over with. “At one point I ended up on my back with Joey on top of me, and… And he opened my blouse and kissed my chest—but my bra was still on, and the rest of his clothes remained on as well.”  
“Did you sleep with him, Phoebe?” Mike asked coldly.  
Phoebe shook her head. “No! Hence our clothes remaining on. I told him I couldn’t do this, and I asked him to leave. He did.”  
“Why didn’t you think of doing that before the kissing began?” Mike asked, annoyance clear in his voice.  
Phoebe shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I just got caught up in the moment. But I love you and not Joey. I promise! I told him that too.”  
“I never want you to see him again,” Mike ordered.  
Phoebe shot him a look. “I said nothing happened. I’m not going to stop being his friend because of one mistake. You have to trust me, Mike.”  
Mike laughed. “Trust you? I did trust you, Phoebe, and look where it got me!”  
“I stopped it before it got too far, didn’t I?” Phoebe snapped.  
“Yeah, well you didn’t stop it soon enough!” Mike snapped.  
Phoebe walked over to him, tears in her eyes. She gently stroked his cheek. “I’m so sorry, Mike. I promise you it will never happen again. I love you and only you, and that’s never going to change. I just made a stupid mistake and it will never happened again. Please don’t leave me!”  
Mike’s face softened a bit. “I forgive you. I’m not going to leave you, but I think I want to spend the night at my own place tonight.”  
Phoebe nodded. “I understand.”  
Mike kissed her. “You only get one pass.”  
“That’s all I need,” Phoebe assured him.  
Mike nodded. “I’ll come over tomorrow after work.” He kissed her one more time.  
“All right,” Phoebe said with a nod. She locked up after him, and sighed with her back against the door. She had to get him to trust her again. Not talking to Joey anymore was out of the question. However, she had an idea on how to make things okay again. She just hoped that Mike and Joey would both be opened to it. 

That night, Joey went out with Chandler to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Chandler had sorrows of his own to drink away. He still hadn’t heard from Janice. He thought for sure he had lost her.  
“I know I just met her not long ago, but really think I love her, Joe,” Chandler said as they sat at the bar drinking beers.  
“I know how you feel. I’m in love with Phoebe, in case you didn’t know,” Joey said. “I hate that Mike guy! I never even met him, but I hate him.”  
“I kind of figured it out by the way you two are always together. I guess it doesn’t take long to fall for someone if you’re really compatible with each other.” Chandler took another swig of his beer. “I don’t know why I had to be such a jerk and mock Janice’s voice. She never said one mean thing to any of us, and we all acted like stuck up high schoolers.”  
“In all fairness, we never expected her to hear us,” Joey reasoned.  
“That doesn’t make it right though, does it?” Chandler asked.  
Joey shook his head. “No, I suppose it doesn’t.” His eyes fell on a good looking guy who had a pretty blonde girl in his lap. She was busty and wearing a dress that looked like lingerie. It barely covered her bottom…or her top for that matter. She as practically spilling out over it.  
The guy had his tongue practically down her throat.  
Joey nodded toward him. “I know I must be in love with Phoebe because I used to be that guy. Now that doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest. I only want Phoebe.”  
“I feel the same way about Janice,” Chandler said with a sigh. “Man, why am I such an idiot?”  
“You were just born one I guess,” Joey joked to try to lighten the mood.  
Chandler snacked his arm.  
Joey rubbed his arm. “Owie!”  
Chandler rolled his eyes. “I didn’t hit you that hard.”  
“Hey, don’t be mean to me. I’m hurting too you know—not on the inside and the outside,” Joey grumbled and he continued to rub his arm.  
“Sorry,” Chandler said. He sighed. “Let’s get out of here. Drinking isn’t cheering me up any.”  
“Me neither,” Joey said, setting his beer bottle down on the counter.  
Chandler paid their tabs to make up for smacking Joey.  
They happened to be heading out at the same time the guy and girl whom Joey had seen making out headed out.   
One they got out of the bar, Joey could hear what they were saying to each other.  
“Spending Thanksgiving with you was a dream,” the guy said to the girl.  
“We can continue the dream at my place. Or yours….” The girl said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.  
“It’s better if we go to your place. My landlord is a real jerk when it comes to bringing girls home,” the guy said.  
“I know the type,” Joey muttered to himself, remembering his old landlord. He wondered what had ever happened to Elvira. He was sure she and her yappy dogs were still at his old apartment causing the other poor tenants the same trouble they had caused him. He didn’t envy those tenants.  
“Sheesh!” I’d hate to be that cab driver. Those two don’t even look like they’re going to make it back to her apartment,” Chandler said as he watched the two get into a cab. Their hands were all over each other and they barely stopped shoving their tongues down the other’s throat long enough to get in the cab.  
Joey smiled, imagining it being him and Phoebe. He could totally see being like that with Phoebe.  
“I don’t feel like walking. Wanna split a cab?” Chandler asked.  
Joey nodded. “Sure. I’m too depressed to walk.”  
They flagged down a cab, and then rode home in silence, neither one of them in the mood to talk anymore.

It wasn’t until the next day after Phoebe got home from work around three that Mike stopped by.   
“You didn’t call. I was worried,” Phoebe said when he showed up at her apartment unannounced.   
“Sorry. I needed time to process everything,” he said. He kissed her quickly on the lips.  
“I want to invite Joey for dinner tomorrow night. I want to show you that he and I are just friends. You’re the one I love; not him. The only way you’re going to believe it is if you see it with your own eyes,” Phoebe said to him.  
Mike looked like he was about to blow a gasket, and Phoebe winced, preparing for the verbal lashing. However, as quickly as he had frowned, he smiled. “You know what? Fine. Maybe it will be good to get this all out in the open so that we can move on. You obviously still want to be friends with him, so I’ll do this for you.”  
Phoebe’s face lit up. “Really? I was worried you’d be mad.”  
“I am mad,” Mike said. He then broke into a grin. “Mad about you!”  
Phoebe giggled.   
Mike then kissed her, this time more passionately, and she knew he wanted to hit the bedroom.  
Phoebe held her hands out to him. “Let me just go invite Joey, and then we can continue this.”  
Mike smiled. “Okay.”  
Phoebe then ran off to call Joey, and instantly the smile faded from Mike’s face. The only reason Mike had agreed to this was to give Joey a piece of his mind, and to warn him never to see Phoebe again if he knew what was good for him. Phoebe was his woman, and he was not about to let that idiot she barely knew steal her away from him.  
Phoebe came back a moment later. “He said yes!” She clapped her hands and squealed. “You two are going to be great friends. I just know it!”  
“I don’t want to talk about that right now. I just want to talk about you and me both naked in your bed,” Mike aid, grabbing her and carrying her to the bedroom.  
“Mm, sounds good to me!” Phoebe said. She grinned, then kissed him all the way to the bed, so grateful that the two men in her life who met the most to her beside her brother were going to be best friends….or so she thought.

The night of the dinner arrived. Joey made sure to look his best with jeans that made his butt look its best, his favorite sneakers, socks that matched his sweater, and a white button down shirt under a royal blue sweater. He wore his brown suede jacket to finish off the look. He had thought about bringing Phoebe flowers, but he didn’t want to push things and make her angry.  
He knocked on the door and was pleased to see Phoebe answer the door wearing a pair of tight jeans and a maroon blouse that was open just enough to make his heart pound. She was only wearing a pair of maroon socks on her feet, but no shoes.   
“Hey Joey!” She smiled in the way that gave him instant butterflies. “Thank you so much for agreeing to have dinner with us. Come on in.”  
He smiled at her and ignored the “us” part. “Hi, Phoebes! The pleasure is all mine.” He walked into the room. “So, where is Mike?” he asked when his eyes scanned the room, but he didn’t see him anywhere.  
“He’s in the bathroom. He’ll be right out. Can I get you anything to drink?” Phoebe asked.  
“Whatever you have is fine,” Joey said, eager to get meeting Mike out of the way.  
As Phoebe headed over to the kitchen area to pour him a glass of wine, Mike came out of the bathroom and into the room. His and Joey’s eyes locked.  
Joey instantly knew who he was. He remembered very clearly the guy at the bar the other night who was all over that trashy looking bimbo. He remembered the guy talking about spending the night with her and how he had spent Thanksgiving with her. Joey didn’t know whether to feel sick or happy, but the fact was, the guy from the bar was none other than the guy standing right in front of him now. The guy that had been all over that girl at the bar, and who had gone home with her, his tongue down her throat, was none other than Phoebe’s own Mike.

Phoebe had made her self a personal vegetarian lasagna, but had made the two men a meat lasagna. “You both like to eat meat! That’s something you have in common,” Phoebe said with a grin.  
“And apparently, we both like to kiss you,” Mike said just to be smart as he shot Joey a look.  
“And other women,” Joey shot right back, his glare at Mike just as cold as the glare Mike was giving him.  
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Mike asked coolly.  
“Yeah, Joey, what do you mean by that?” Phoebe asked.  
Joey didn’t want to get into it until he had talked to Mike privately, so he just smiled. “I only meant that we both prefer women over men.”  
Mike and Phoebe both seemed to relax a little.  
“Dinner is very good, Phoebs. Thank you for inviting me,” Joey said as he dug into his mashed potatoes. She had made a ton of food for the three of them, but Joey was up for the challenge.  
Phoebe smiled. “You’re so welcome! I’m glad you like it.”  
“Not nearly as much as I like it. I’m so lucky I have a girlfriend who can cook so well,” Mike said, trying to kiss up to her.  
Phoebe giggled. “Monica’s the real cook. I’m sorry. I wanted to make it look like I could cook well, but in reality, I suck at cooking. I actually hate it. Monica did me a favor and sent all this food over. I just put it on my plates.”  
“I would think being her boyfriend and all, you’d know Phoebe didn’t cook,” Joey said. Of course, he also didn’t know Phoebe didn’t cook, but he had the excuse of not being her boyfriend…yet.  
Mike blushed. “I don’t care if she makes chicken noodle soup from a can. It always tastes extra special to me because it comes from her.”  
Joey wanted to roll his eyes, but he had to admit, that Mike was smooth—even if he was a cheating liar.  
“Aw!” Phoebe got up and kissed him, and Joey wanted to hurl.  
They ate their dinner, making small talk, and then after dinner, Mike spoke up. “Phoebe, would you mind doing me a huge favor while I clean up these dishes?”  
She looked at him. “Sure honey, what?”  
“Can you be a dear and go down to the corner store and pick us up some of that peanut butter cup ice cream to go with our dessert?” Mike asked her.  
“But I have vanilla bean already,” she informed him.  
“Peanut butter cup sounds really good, now that Mike mentioned it,” Joey said. “I can help him clear the table and set it for dessert.”  
Phoebe smiled. “Well, if it’s what you both want, okay!” She was happy to see Joey starting to be friendly with Mike. “I won’t be long.” She grabbed her coat and put her boots on, and then headed out.  
As soon as she was gone, Mike turned to Joey. “I don’t want you ever to see her again. You’re only Chandler’s roommate and nothing more. You don’t need to be her friend. She already has me.”  
“With friends like you, who needs enemies?” Joey asked.  
Mike clenched his jaw and his eyes turned cold again. “Excuse me?”  
“I happened to be out with Chandler at the bar the other night. I saw that girl in your lap. I saw you kissing her with your tongue down her throat. Do you want to know what I heard?” Joey asked.  
Mike didn’t look shaken. “No, Joey, what do you think you heard?” he sneered.  
“I heard you taking about having spent Thanksgiving with her. I also heard that you two were going back to her place that night at the bar, and it certainly wasn’t to play Parcheesi!” Joey snapped.  
Mike looked him in the eye, cockiness exuding from his body. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
“Don’t play games with me, Mike. I’m not going to let you hurt Phoebe like that! How could you do that to her? She really loves you! Then you had the nerve to get angry with her for kissing me when you actually slept with someone that very same night before you even found out that she had kissed me!” Joey was livid, the more he thought about it.  
“You’re insane,” Mike said, shaking his head and trying to laugh it off.  
Joey shook his head as well. “I know I’m not the brightest crayon in the box, but I am a hundred percent sure of what I saw and heard. I’ll have Chandler to back me up once he meets you. I’m telling Phoebe as soon as she gets back up here. She deserves to know what a lying, cheating scum bag her boyfriend is!”  
Mike sighed. “Oh, come on, Joey! You of all people should know what it’s like to not want to settle for only one woman! There are far too many pretty girls out there than to settle on just one.”  
“When you’re in a committed relationship, you do settle for just one while you are in that relationship. Otherwise, why even bother being in one?” Joey asked.  
“I do love Phoebe, but once in a while I just need a one or two night stand. It helps the relationship not grow stale,” Mike explained.  
“Yeah, well I’m not sure Phoebe would agree with that,” Joey muttered.  
“Oh, please! What do you even know about Phoebe? You knew her, what? All of a month and a half? Anyway, what Phoebe doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She’s not allowed to see other men anyway. That would make her a slut!” Mike said with a smirk.  
Something snapped in Joey then. “Nobody disrespects Phoebe like that!” He punched Mike hard in his right eye.  
Mike was so startled he hadn’t even seen it coming. “What the hell, Joey?”  
“Don’t you ever disrespect Phoebe like that ever again! You hear me?” Joey yelled.  
Mike sighed. “I deserved that. I was running my mouth. I’m sorry. Please don’t tell Phoebe.” Gone was his cockiness.   
“After what you just said, you expect me not to tell her? Are you for real?” Joey asked him.  
“I won’t see other women any more, Joey. I promise!” Mike got tears in his eyes. “I was just scared. Phoebe is the first woman I’ve ever fallen this hard for. It scared me. I guess I figured I was going to lose her anyway, so I might as well start getting used to being with other women before the inevitable happened and she dumped me.”  
Joey softened a little. “Well you should have talked to Phoebe about how you were feeling instead of going off to be with some other woman! How many were there since Phoebe, Mike?”  
“Just that one you saw, and it was only for a couple of weeks. I’m going to break it off with her. I promise, I’ll stop. I’ll talk to Phoebe about how I feel, but please don’t tell her about the cheating. What good will it do? It will only hurt her.” Mike still head tears in his eyes as he looked at Joey. “I’m begging you, Joey. Please don’t tell her.”  
Joey looked at him, contemplating. “Do you promise never to cheat on her again?”  
Mike nodded, and then crossed his finger over his heart. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”  
Joey sighed. “If I ever find out you do cheat on her again, you may just die!” He sighed. “Fine. Against my better judgment, I won’t tell her.”  
“Thank you!” Mike said with relief.  
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it to spare Phoebe’s feelings,” Joey grumbled.  
Before Mike could reply, Phoebe came in with the ice cream. “They didn’t have peanut butter cup, but they had chocolate peanut butter swirl, which is basically the same thing, am I right?” She stopped in her tracks when she saw Mike’s eye all red and bruised. He was rubbing it and wincing.  
“What the hell happened to you?” she asked.  
“Joey punched me!” Mike said.  
“Joey what?” Phoebe looked over at Joey with wide eyes. “Joey why would you do such a thing?”  
It took every ounce of Joey’s strength not to tell her the truth. “I guess I was just jealous of him. He kept talking about how much he loved you, and you loved him…” He shrugged. “I didn’t want to hear it any more.”  
“I can’t believe you punched him when he was nice enough to give you a chance despite the fact that you kissed his girlfriend! I invited you to dinner so that you two could be friends, Joey. I didn’t invite you here to punch him like some barbarian! Get the hell out of my apartment! Now!” Phoebe yelled, pointing toward the door. She then turned to Mike. “You should press charges!”  
Mike shook his head. “No, I should have known better. He has a little crush on you, and it was mean of me to rub our love for each other in his face. I deserved it.”  
“No you didn’t. Here. Phoebe held the ice cream to his eye. “Feel better?”  
Mike nodded. “Much! Thank you, sweetheart.”  
Joey watched them sadly.  
“Joey, what part of get out don’t you understand? Scram! I don’t ever want to see you again if I can help it,” Phoebe snapped. “I think you’ve become a little too attached to me. We’re border lining on sick obsession now.”  
Joey’s shoulders hung. He felt defeated as he left the apartment. It was the hardest thing he had to do; lie to her and then let a guy like Mike have her. What could he do though? If he told on Mike, it would just break Phoebe’s heart. He couldn’t do that to her when she was clearly so happy with him. Anyway, the fact that she took Mike’s side instantly, and the fact that she didn’t want to see him (Joey) again just because of one punch, told him everything he needed to know. Her heart belonged with Mike; not him. The heart wanted what the heart wanted. The only problem was, sometimes, like in his case, the heart couldn’t get what it wanted.   
Joey walked home barely feeling the cold, and then went straight to bed, ignoring Chandler’s inquiries about what was wrong.

“Hopefully that made the swelling go down,” Phoebe said as Mike set the ice cream down on the counter. “Are you still hungry?”  
Mike shook his head. “Not really.”  
“Me neither. I’m so sorry about Joey, Mike. I can’t believe I was wrong about him.” Phoebe put the ice cream in the fridge, and then started clearing the dishes that Mike and Joey hadn’t touched.  
Mike helped her. “I guess I can’t blame him. I mean, you are pretty special.”  
Phoebe smiled at him. “That is true, but still, he shouldn’t have punched you over it. He was the one that did wrong; not you.” She looked up at him. “I’m sorry I let him kiss me, and that I kissed him back. I don’t know what got into me. I guess it’s temporary insanity.”  
Mike laughed. “It’s fine.” He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “You more than proved tonight that it meant nothing to you.”  
Phoebe nodded. “You’re right; it didn’t.” Though she knew that inside, she wasn’t being entirely truthful. She did have feelings for Joey, thought she supposed they didn’t matter now.  
They finished putting the dishes away.  
“You know what? I suddenly am hungry after all,” Mike said to her.  
“Yeah?” Phoebe asked. “What do you want?”  
Mike’s eyes lowered with love for her. “You.”  
Phoebe giggled. “I think I can arrange that!”  
They kissed, and then Mike picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.   
“I have to go to the bathroom and freshen up, then I’ll be right out and we can continue where we left off,” Phoebe purred into his ear sexily.  
Mike’s eyes lowered with lust. “All right.” He set her down and she quickly headed off to the bathroom with a smile over her shoulder at him.  
He smiled back at her, and once she was in the bathroom, he smiled to himself. He had won. Joey had bought the tears and the lies hook, line, and sinker. And he was supposed to be an actor! Yet he hadn’t seen through his (Mike’s) acting. Mike had no intention of not seeing other women. After all, women were the spice of life. Even so, he was going to lock Phoebe down for good. He loved her. He really did. He just didn’t want to love only her. He especially didn’t want Joey to have her, but knew the perfect way to make sure that that never happened.   
He smiled even bigger. He’d take care of that tomorrow.


	9. The One Where Phoebe Breaks Joey's Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoebe has bad news for Joey.  
> Monica falls in love.  
> Ross and Rachel worry about Joey and Phoebe.

The One Where Phoebe Breaks Joey’s Heart

For the next week, Joey was miserable. He threw himself into his acting so as not to think of Phoebe, and he also threw himself back into the dating world. It seemed he had a new woman each night of the week, but try as he might, none of them could make him forget about Phoebe.  
One day, they accidentally ran into each other at Central Perk. Joey didn’t know whether to say hello to her, or to just pretend that he didn’t see her. He chose to give her her space. Their eyes met, and he had wanted so badly to say something to her, but he couldn’t. Instead, remembering her saying that she never wanted to see him again, he moved to a corner table and avoided looking in her direction at all costs.  
He was surprised when moments later, he heard her voice.   
“I’m sorry,” Phoebe said, sitting down across from him.  
Joey looked up at her in surprise. “I thought you never wanted to see me again.”  
“That was just angry Phoebe talking. You shouldn’t put to much thought into what she says,” Phoebe said with a smirk.  
Joey smiled. “I’m sorry I punched Mike. It was wrong of me. I’m usually not the type to just go punching somebody out of the blue, it’s just that—” Joey stopped himself from telling her the truth. He didn’t want to hurt her. “I guess I let my jealousy get the best of me, and I acted like a real jerk.” He looked down into his coffee, hating that he had to play the jerk when he knew that Mike was the real jerk. He could never tell Phoebe the truth though. It would break her heart.  
Phoebe reached out and placed her hand over his. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just taken his side without hearing your side of the story too. Mike can be a little hot-headed sometimes. He has jealousy issues of his own. I’m sure he goaded you a little.”  
Joey nodded. “He did keep rubbing it in my face that you two are a couple. I couldn’t take it.” He looked into Phoebe’s eyes. “I love you, Phoebe. I can’t stand the thought of him being with you.”  
Phoebe looked away. “I’m sorry, Joey, but you’re going to have to get used to it.”  
Joey nodded. “I know, but if you would just give us a chance, I promise I could make you even happier than he makes you.”  
Phoebe shook her head. “Joey, you and I can never be.”  
Joey looked intensely in her eyes, and took her hands in his own. “But why, Phoebs? Why couldn’t you and I be a thing?”  
Phoebe looked him directly in the eyes. She hated to break his heart like this, but she knew he’d find out soon anyway. It was best that she heard it from him. “Joey, the night after you had dinner at my place, Mike asked me to marry him and I said yes.”  
Joey felt like she had just kicked him in the stomach, teeth, and head. It hurts worse than when Janice and Monica had tackled him during the football game. “Is marrying Mike what you really want?” he asked quietly.  
Phoebe nodded, and gently squeezed his hands. “I’m sorry, Joey, but yes, it is. I really love him, and I know that he and I are going to be so happy together.”  
Joey felt his heart sink. He put on a smile even though his heart was shattered inside. “Well, then I’m really happy for you, Phoebe.”  
“Are you really?” Phoebe asked gently.  
Joey nodded. “If you’re happy, then so am I.”  
“I’m so happy!” Phoebe smiled though deep in her heart, she wasn’t quite sure.  
Joey smiled. “Then I’m happy too.” He left the money for both of their coffees. He stood up, grabbed his coat, and then kissed her cheek. “Congratulations, Phoebe. I know you’re going to be a beautiful bride.” He then put on his coat and left the coffee shop before she could see the tears in his eyes. If only she were his bride instead of Mike’s, Joey thought.   
“No use pining for things that will never happen,” he muttered. He then headed off to a liquor store. He didn’t care if it wasn’t even five o’clock yet. He needed to drink all memory of Phoebe away before his pain consumed him. Though, he was beginning to feel like there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world for that. Still, it wasn’t going to stop him from trying.

“I’m happy for you guys,” Monica said to Ross and Rachel. Ross and Monica’s parents were throwing a party, and they had insisted that both Ross and Monica come. Ross didn’t want to go without Rachel. He knew the party would be a bore without her. They had started hanging out more ever since that night Mandy had ditched him at dinner and Rachel had sat with him so he wouldn’t be lonely. It was then that hey realized how much they had in common, and it hadn’t been long after that Ross had asked Rachel to be his girlfriend, and she had accepted. They had told only Monica, and that was only because she had figured it out Thanksgiving night at the movie when she had caught them kissing in their seats. They hadn’t expected her to be back from the concession stand so quickly.  
Rachel smiled. “So it’s not weird for you since your best friend is dating your brother?”  
Monica hit the air with her hand. “Na! I think you two are well suited to each other. Ross used to have a huge crush on you back in the day.”  
Rachel smiled at Ross. “You did?”  
Ross blushed. “I may have.”  
“May have? My gosh, he kept a freaking shrine to you on his wall!” Monica said.  
Ross blushed even deeper. “It was not a shrine! It consisted only of my two favorite yearbook pictures of her. Her class picture, and a cheerleading picture of her.” He turned to Rachel. “You were in the air with your legs behind you, your pompoms out to your sides, and your hair in pigtails. You were celebrating the teams’ win. You looked so adorable.”  
Rachel smiled. “Aw! That’s so sweet!”   
Ross smiled too. “Really? Not creepy?”  
Rachel thought about it. She shrugged. “Maybe a little creepy.”  
Ross’s smile faded.   
“But way more sweet than creepy!” Rachel said with a grin.  
Ross grinned too.  
They then began making out.  
Monica gagged. “Just because I approve of your relationship does not mean I want to see my brother and best friend making out!”  
They ignored her and kept on kissing, so Monica left the table and went to get some punch. She was happy for them, she really was, but they were just another reminder that she was alone, possibly to never find love again.  
“Well if it isn’t Monica Gellar. The last time I saw you, you were…”   
Monica smiled when she saw her parent’s longtime friend Richard. “Fat?”  
Richard shook his head. “I was just going to say a bigger girl.”  
Monica smiled. “It’s okay. You can say it. I was an ugly, huge, whale.”  
Richard shook his head. “Don’t ever talk about yourself that way—not even your past self. I think you were beautiful back then. Who cares if you were on the bigger side? I always thought you were adorable, and funny, and… I really enjoyed talking to you. You always had such interesting things to say.”  
Monica blushed. “Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”  
Richard shook his head. “No Ma’am! Though, I must say you’ve grown up to be an even more beautiful woman than you were back then. I hear you’ve got your own restaurant?”  
Monica nodded. She then told him the name and location. “You’re welcome to come out any time. I’ll make sure you get not only the best seat in the house, but the best meal in the house as well!”  
“I would actually love that!” Richard said. “Maybe it could be some night after you close? I’d love to chat with you and catch up. Or, maybe if you have a day off sometime, I could take you out to dinner, and let you get a break from cooking.”  
Monica grinned. “And I would love that!”  
Richard took out his business card and handed it to her. “Call me tomorrow?” he asked.  
“You bet!” Monica said, promptly taking the card from him.  
Richard kissed her cheek. “I’ll be looking forward to it.”  
Monica smiled. “Me too.”  
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I want to go say hello to your father. I just arrived, and I haven’t had a chance to make a bet with him on the football game yet,” Richard said.  
Monica smiled. “Okay.”  
She watched him leave, and then she touched her cheek and smile. Who knew? Maybe love wasn’t out of the cards for her just yet!

Chandler meanwhile, had just gotten home from work, and he noticed he had a message on his machine. He pressed play, and his heart jumped when he heard Janice’s voice on the machine.   
“Hey, Chandler, it’s me, Janice. Not that I have to say who I am. My annoying voice gives it away, I know. I just wanted to let you know that I am currently at New York Presbyterian Hospital. I am having surgery at seven to get my voice fixed. The surgeon says he can work on my nose and vocal cords so that my voice will sound more normal. I don’t really want to do this, but I thought it over. I want to be with you, but I know you could never be with me with my voice sounding the way it does. Chandler, I’m scared. If you could drop by the hospital I would feel a little less worried about the surgery. Just knowing you’re there—”  
Beep!  
The machine cut her off. Chandler looked at his watch. He had an hour before her surgery. He quickly ran back out of the apartment, and headed for the hospital. He was grateful to get a cab right away and he ended up paying the driver a huge tip since he only had a hundred dollar bill on him, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t let Janice go through with this. He would never forgive himself if she did something she didn’t want to do just because she felt the need to please him.  
He ran into the lobby out of breath, and immediately asked the nurse at the front desk what room Janice Litman was in.  
“I’m sorry, we don’t have any patient here named Janice Litman,” the nurse informed him.  
“I’m sure she said New York Presbyterian,” Chandler said. “Please check again.”  
“Chandler, I’m here.”   
Chandler turned around, and relief filled him when he saw Janice standing there. He instantly pulled her close to him. “Janice, I am so sorry that you felt you have to do this to please me! You don’t. My friends and I were just being ass holes. I don’t want you to change. In fact, thinking I was going to lose you made me even miss your voice! I love your voice. I couldn’t imagine you with a normal voice. That’s just not you. Please don’t change it! I love you just the way you are!”  
Janice smiled. “That is exactly what I wanted to hear, Chandler Bing. Congratulations, you passed the test.”  
Chandler was confused. “Test? What test?”  
Janice took his hand in her own. “I was never going to get that surgery done. I wanted to be with you, but before I could be, I had to make absolutely certain that you still love me just like this—annoying voice and all. If you had planned on letting me get the surgery, we would have been through, but after what you just said to me, Chandler Bing, I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me!”  
Chandler was silent for a moment as he took everything she just said in. Then he grinned big. “My baby’s a genius!”  
Janice laughed, and Chandler didn’t even wince this time. Instead, he pulled her even closer to him and kissed her long and hard.   
When he broke the kiss, Janice took his hand and led him out of the hospital. “Come on. Let’s go back to my place.”  
“And watch a crime show marathon?” Chandler asked.  
Janice grinned. “I really think this could be love, Chandler Bing.”  
“I know it’s love,” Chandler responded.   
They kissed again, and then both went to Janice’s. They walked since she only lived two bocks from the hospital. It was a little chilly out, but now that they were back together, they were too happy to feel the cold.

The next day, Joey was surprised to get a call from Phoebe.   
“Hey, Phoebes. What’s up?” he asked. He hoped she was calling to tell him that the wedding was off. Quite the contrary.  
“I just wanted to give you a heads up that Mike wants to get married right away. He doesn’t see the point in waiting, and neither do I. He wants to have a Christmas Eve wedding with just close friends and family. And…since it’s only close friends and family, I don’t see any need for sending invitations out. I just wanted to call and see if you would come.”  
Joey felt his heart sink. “That’s only a couple weeks a way. Why so soon?” He felt dread form in his stomach. “You’re not pregnant are you?”  
“Oh, gosh no! We just want to be married. Neither one of us cares for a long and drawn out engagement or an over the top wedding. We just want it small and simple. Plus, it will have the romance of Christmas Eve without the tacky over-done romance of a Valentine’s Day wedding. We’re going to have it in the park, and it should be beautiful. I really hope it snows. It usually does on Christmas Eve.”  
Joey felt his heart breaking even more. “I’m sorry, Phoebes, but I just can’t do it. I can’t watch you marry another man. I won’t be there.”  
Phoebe was silent for a moment before responding. “It would really hurt you that much?”  
“Yes! I don’t think you realize how madly in love with you I am, Phoebe. Watching you all in love with and marrying another man would be like you ripping my guts out with your bare hands. I’m sorry, but I just can’t do it!”  
Again, Phoebe was quiet for a moment before speaking. “All right. I understand. Can be still be friends after I’m married?”  
“I think it would be too hard, Phoebs. I would need some time to heal first. Anyway, I’m sure Mike wouldn’t like it. Look, I’ve got to go. I wish you all the happiness in the world, Phoebs. I really do.”  
“Joey, I—”  
“I’m sorry, Phoebes, I just can’t.” Joey hung up on her. He felt terrible for doing it, but he didn’t want her to hear the tears in his voice. He headed into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. He then threw himself down onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t know how he was going to get through the holidays, but he supposed he had no choice. One thing was for sure, on Christmas Eve, he planned on getting drunker than he’d ever been before. It may not have been a very nice thing to do on Christmas Eve, but he didn’t want to remember anything about that day, and getting extremely drunk was the only way he knew how to forget.

Monica couldn’t believe her luck. She had been a little reluctant to leave the restaurant open late so that she could cook for Richard, but she was now so glad that she did. She had been worried about another Billy incident, but it was quite the contrary. Unlike Billy, Richard made her laugh practically the whole evening. He was very complimentary of her cooking, and she knew he wasn’t lying because he ate it all. He had nothing but compliments for her, and when dessert was over, they stayed and talked over coffee for another hour. When Richard prepared to leave, he told her he would love to see her again. She invited him to Phoebe’s wedding as her plus one, and he cordially agreed. He kissed her on the cheek when he bid her ado, and she couldn’t help but sigh a happy sigh and smile long after he was gone. She knew it was silly to think about love after only one date, but as she cleared the table, she couldn’t help but think that quite possibly, this could end up being love.

“Hey, Joey!” Rachel said to Joey when she and Ross walked in to Central Perk together. He was sitting on the couch looking a little lost.   
He looked up at her a little delayed. “Hey.” He didn’t smile or ask how she was.  
“What’s up with you? You look like you just lost your best friend,” Ross said as he tossed his coat on the nearby chair and sat down.  
“I basically did,” Joey said in a monotone manner.  
Rachel sat down next to him. “Is Chandler all right? Did you two have a fight?”  
Joey met her eyes. “Not Chandler—Phoebe. I assume you know she’s getting married?”  
Rachel nodded. “Yes! Ross and I are going to the wedding together. I guess everyone’s going to hear about it sooner or later. He and I are an item now.”  
Joey looked from Rachel to Ross. “Congrats, guys.”  
“Thanks. So, wait. Since when is Phoebe your best friend?” Ross asked.  
“They hang out more than he hangs out with Chandler actually,” Rachel answered for him. She then turned to Joey. “Honey, even though she’ll be married, I’m sure she’s still going to have time for you. I mean, sure, she won’t be able to hang out with you as much as you’re used to her hanging out with her, but you’re always going to be friends.”  
Joey shook his head. “Don’t you get it? We can’t be friends. I can’t be just friends with her. I fell in love with her the day I met her. I didn’t think she was that serious about Mike. She had told me the day I met her that he bored her. Even when she changed her mind about him being boring, I still thought she would eventually leave him for me.”  
Rachel and Ross were both shocked at the sudden revelation.   
“What? Phoebe didn’t tell you I punched Mike in the eye because I was jealous of him having Phoebe?” Joey asked.  
Rachel and Ross looked at each other.   
“You did what?” Ross asked.  
Joey sighed. He then told them the whole story from making out with Phoebe on Thanksgiving Day, to Phoebe telling Mike she kissed Joey, and Mike being livid. “He didn’t even want her being my friend anymore. Of course that wasn’t going to stop either of us. She invited me over for dinner with the two of them so that he and I could try to be friends. She also wanted to prove to Mike that there was nothing between her and me but friendship,” Joey explained.  
“That is the dumbest thing I ever heard,” Ross said.  
“It gets dumber,” Joey said.  
“More dumb,” Rachel corrected him.  
Joey shot her a look. “That’s what I said. Anyway, the night before the dinner, I saw a guy at a bar, heavily making out with some hot scantily clad blonde chick.”  
“Did she have huge knockers?” Ross asked.  
Rachel glared at him.  
Ross shrugged. “I’m just trying to picture her!”  
Joey nodded. “She did. She looked like a call girl. Anyway, they were talking about the wonderful time they had at her place on Thanksgiving, and how much fun they were going to have that night at her place as well.”  
“What does any of this have to do with Mike and Phoebe, Joe?” Rachel asked.  
“I had never seen Mike until the night of the dinner. As soon as I saw him, I recognized him as the guy who I saw with the busty blonde the night before,” Joey revealed.  
“Are you sure?” Rachel asked.  
Joey nodded. “I’m positive!”  
“Well, did you tell Phoebe?” Ross asked. “I think she deserves to know her husband to be cheated on her.”  
Joey shook his head. “When Phoebe left to get ice cream to bring back, I confronted Mike and he got really mean about it. He said he had the right to have another woman. He said some disrespectful stuff about Phoebe, and that is when I punched him. He then started to cry and begged me not to tell her. He said he was just scared because he has never loved anyone like he loves Phoebe.”  
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Oh, please! He’s obviously lying.”  
Joey shrugged. “He seemed really sincere. He promised he’d never do it again and that he is going to break it off with the girl.”  
“Sounds like a likely story,” Ross said, not believing it either.  
“I didn’t tell Phoebe because I don’t want to hurt her. He really did sound sincere to me. She loves him so much. I told her that I punched Mike in the eye because he kept bragging about him and her being together, and I got jealous. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me she never wanted to see me again. We have since made up, but the fact that she took his side without even listening to me, and that she was willing to never see me again because I punched him told me everything I needed to know.”  
“I think you should tell her,” Rachel said quietly.  
Joey shook his head. “No. It would only hurt her. I shouldn’t have even told you guys. You need to just leave well enough alone, all right?” Joey stood up and put his jacket on.  
Rachel stood up too and looked at Ross. “Ross, say something!”  
Ross shrugged. “What do you want me to say, Rache? Maybe he’s right. Maybe it would only hurt Phoebe. Maybe Mike really will change. If he doesn’t, then it’s something she might have to learn on her own. Who’s to say she’d even believe Joey anyway?”  
Rachel sighed. “I guess you’re right.” She turned to talk more about it to Joey, but he had already left. She sighed, and plopped herself back down onto the couch. She felt sick about the whole situation. Maybe Ross was right and they should just keep their mouths shut, she thought. Still… If it was the right thing to do, then why did it feel so wrong?


	10. The One Where Joey and Phoebe Are Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoebe realizes she is marrying the wrong man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who read this. I'm sorry there wasn't more of the other friends in it. I had originally meant for this story to have story lines with the other friends as well, but I guess I just wasn't invested in them enough because I couldn't think of a good story line for them. This is the ending of Friends Remixed. I hope you like it. I have a new Phoebe Joey fanfic coming soon called Anything for Love that I am super excited for-lots of ideas. It will be posted on Christmas Eve. That one is going to pick up where Friends left off. It will have the other characters, but the story line will mainly be centered around Phoebe and Joey. Now, without further ado, the conclusion to Friends Remixed. Thanks so much for reading!

The One Where Joey and Phoebe Are Soulmates

The day of Phoebe’s wedding arrived sooner than Joey would have liked. She was having a nighttime wedding in Central Park. She and Mike had gotten special permission to reserve a small section of it for their wedding.   
“Are you sure you don’t want to go, Joe?” Chandler asked him as Janice tied Chandler’s tie.  
Joey shook his head. “It would be too painful.”  
“Aw, Joey, don’t be sad! Phoebe just wasn’t the right girl for you. You’ll find someone else. I promise you,” Janice assured him.  
“Thanks, but Phoebe is the only woman I want,” Joey said. He then walked into his room and shut the door. He appreciated Janice trying to cheer him up, but right now he didn’t want to be talked to—especially not by someone with that voice.  
He heard whispered talking, and then shortly after he heard the door shut as they left. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. He was too depressed to even get drunk. All he wanted to do now was sleep the rest of the night away.

“I can’t wait to marry Mike! I finally found a man who loves me so much, and one that I love too. He is my soul mate!” Phoebe said as Rachel and Monica helped do her hair and put her makeup on.  
Rachel smiled weakly. “Are you sure, Phoebes?”  
Phoebe looked up at her. “What do you mean? Of course I’m sure! Mike loves me more than any other man ever has. I love him too. He’s so good to me, Rach. I know he’ll be the perfect husband to me.” Phoebe smiled dreamily.  
“Are you sure he is who he says he is though?” Rachel pressed.  
Again, Phoebe looked at her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”  
Monica shot Rachel a look. “Seriously, Rachel, what the hell?”  
“I just want to make sure you’re happy, Phoebe. That’s all,” Rachel said to Phoebe. “I finished your makeup.”  
“I am happy, Rachel. I’m very happy,” Phoebe responded.  
Rachel smiled. “Then that is all that matters.”  
Monica finished Phoebe’s hair. “You look so gorgeous. Just like a princess!”  
Phoebe smiled as she admired herself in the mirror. “I’ve never been one of those before. I guess I better go put on my dress.”  
“Do you need any help?” Monica asked.  
“No, I got it,” Phoebe got up to head to the bedroom to change. They had been doing her hair and makeup at the kitchen table in Monica’s apartment.  
“Be careful of your makeup! You don’t want any makeup stains on that dress!” Rachel warned her.  
As soon as Phoebe was in the bedroom with the door closed, Rachel turned to Monica. “Monica, can I talk to you out on the balcony?” she asked quietly.  
“Why out there?” Monica asked. “It’s cold out! It’s bad enough I have to be out there for the duration of Phoebe’s wedding.”  
“Please. I need to discuss something important with you,” Rachel informed her.  
Monica sighed. “Fine, but make it quick.”  
They headed out to the balcony, and then Rachel told Monica everything that Joey had told her and Ross.  
“Are you serious? Phoebe has to know! Why didn’t any of you tell her?” Monica asked.  
Rachel shrugged. “She’s so happy, and Mike seemed sincere when he promised to not cheat anymore, according to Joey. We didn’t want to make Phoebe sad.”  
“Well if her husband ends up cheating on her, she’s going to be pretty sad, I’d say. It’s best to rip off the Band-Aid now before she gets in even deeper!” Monica said. “We have to tell her.” She started to head back into the apartment.  
Rachel quickly grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Mon, don’t. Why hurt her? He said he’d never do it again! At least, that is what he told Joey, and you know how protective Joey is of her. If he thought for even a second that Mike wasn’t sincere, do you really think he’d let Phoebe marry him? Especially when he wants her for himself?”  
Monica sighed. “I guess you kind of make a good point.” She looked up at Rachel. “But what about once a cheater, always a cheater? He says he won’t now, but what about when he and Phoebe get into their first fight as a married couple. Then what? Will he be temped to go out and cheat on her again? Relationships are hard. I can only imagine how hard marriage is. What if marriage becomes too much for him and he cracks? What if he cheats again and breaks poor Phoebe’s heart?”  
Rachel nodded. “I know! Trust me, Mon, I worry about that too. But what if he doesn’t? What if we say something now and ruin a marriage that could have been beautiful before it even started? We’ll have not only broken Phoebe’s heart, but ruined her life as well.”  
Monica sighed. “I guess all we can do is let it play out then.”  
Rachel nodded. “Exactly! So we’re both in agreement about this that we keep our mouths shut? I know Joey and Ross are going to. Chandler does whatever Joey wants, so he won’t tell either.”  
Monica sighed yet again. “I guess. I still think it feels wrong.”  
They noticed Phoebe coming out of the bedroom then, so with a final warning look at Monica, Rachel headed in, and Monica was right behind her.  
“What were you two doing out there?” Phoebe asked.  
“Trying to see if Ross was ready to go. You know him, always last minute,” Rachel said.  
Phoebe nodded. “True. I can’t get my zipper. I thought I could, but I can’t.”  
Monica quickly zipped the dress up for her, then both girls stood back and admired how beautiful their friend looked.   
“You look stunning!” Monica said.  
“So breathtaking,” Rachel agreed.  
Phoebe grinned, and looked into the full length mirror. “I do, don’t I?” She then turned to her friends, still grinning. “This is the happiest day of my life! I swear, nothing could ruin it!”  
Rachel and Monica cast quick glances at each other, and then they smiled at Phoebe and hugged their friend, hoping that she was right.

Joey awoke, and looked at his alarm clock. He realized Phoebe should be walking down the aisle at that moment. He felt sick. He got up out of bed, and left the room. He put on his coat and boots and headed out. He needed to go for a walk. He knew he was going to drive himself crazy if he just sat in the dark room and thought about Phoebe.   
He didn’t really have any place in mind to walk. He just mindlessly walked, trying not to think of Phoebe, but not succeeding very well. He was sure she must be a beautiful bride. He just hated thinking about her being someone else’s bride. He continued walking, barely noticing the cold.

The wedding march began. There was a battery operated radio and Phoebe’s sister-in-law had pressed the button of.  
Phoebe walked down the makeshift walkway of the section of Central Park that Phoebe and Mike had chosen to marry at.   
“Are you ready for this?” her brother asked her.  
She smiled up at him. “I am.” Though, as her brother kissed her cheek and led her arm-in-arm down the aisle, she wasn’t so sure. She was smiling at Mike, but couldn’t help but picture him as Joey.   
She shook the thought from her head. She was marrying Mike; not Joey. That was the way it should be, she knew. Joey couldn’t even be bothered to come to the wedding, though, she knew it was only because he loved her too much and it was too painful for him to go.   
She felt stomach flutters at the thought of Joey loving her so much. Mike loved her too though. Mike made more sense to marry. He was practical, and he wasn’t a womanizer. Then again, Joey had seemed to ease up on the women since she had met him. He seemed to want to spend time with her more than he did with other women now.  
There was no time to think any more on it. She had caught up to Mike, and her brother had just given her away.   
The ceremony began. Phoebe tried to concentrate on Mike, but she just couldn’t get Joey out of her head. She really hoped he hadn’t meant it when he said they couldn’t even be friends any more. Even though she had just met Joey a couple months earlier, she felt like she had known him her entire life. He comforted her when she was down, he was so sweet to her at all times. He cared about her feelings and always made sure to put her needs before his own. He made her laugh. He was innocent and not at all innocent all at the same time. He was so gorgeous…  
“Phoebe?” Mike had an eyebrow raised at her.  
Phoebe snapped back to reality. “Hm?”  
“Your vows,” Mike whispered.  
“Oh! Sorry.” She had to struggle to remember her vows to him. Had he already given his vows to her? She had zoned out, and now she was almost too flustered to give her own vows.   
“Mike, I…” She panicked. She couldn’t think of anything to say to him. She had planned it all out, and rehearsed her vows over and over, and now she had nothing. She pictured Joey again. “You make me smile even when I don’t want to smile. You make me laugh when I don’t feel like laughing. You always treat me like a princess, and sometimes you really have me believing I am one. There is honestly no other man I want to be with than you.”  
Mike smiled big. He then began his vows to her.   
Good, she hadn’t missed them. Yet, even though she was glad she hadn’t missed them, she paid no attention to what he was saying as the realization that everything she had just said in her vows to Mike was really aimed at Joey. Joey was the one who always made her smile. Joey was the one who always made her laugh. Joey was the one who treated her like a princess and made her feel like one. The more she thought about it, she wasn’t even sure if she actually did love Mike, or if she was just in love with the idea of being in love. Maybe the one she was really in love with was Joey.  
They were now on the part of the ceremony where the preacher asked any one objecting to the marriage to speak now or forever hold their peace.  
Phoebe was starting to panick. What was she doing? She couldn’t marry Mike when Joey was the one her heart really wanted! She was about to say something herself when Monica called out. “Phoebe don’t marry him! He cheated on you! He spend Thanksgiving with another woman and had been sleeping with her!”  
“What?” Phoebe asked.  
“That’s not true! Phoebe, your friend is a liar!” Mike snapped.  
Phoebe looked at him. “I’ve know her longer than I’ve known you. She wouldn’t say it unless she knew it was true.” She turned back to Monica. “How do you know this?”  
“Rachel told me,” Monica stated.  
Rachel glared at Monica, but then sighed and looked at Phoebe. “Joey saw him with the other woman. He said they were all over each other and talking about how they had spent Thanksgiving together. They even went home together the night Joey saw them. When Joey had dinner at your place the following night, Mike disrespected you and told Joey that he (Mike) can do what he wants including being with other women. He also said you couldn’t be with other men but he could be with other woman. You’d have to ask Joey, but I think Mike even called you something really disrespectful, and that is when Joey punched Mike.”  
“Why didn’t Joey tell me?” Phoebe asked, tears in her eyes. She wasn’t upset that Mike had cheated on her, but she was upset at how horrible she had been to Joey when he was in reality just defending her honor. This told her everything she needed to know about her supposed feelings for Mike and everything about her feelings for Joey.   
“Mike promised never to do it again. He fed him some garbage about how just being scared because he had never loved another woman the way he had loved you, and he self-sabotaged before it could end another way,” Monica explained.   
“Joey didn’t want to hurt you,” Rachel added.  
“I was self-sabotaging! I do love you, Phoebe!” Mike tried.  
“Save it, you nasty cheater!” Phoebe snapped. She then glared at him. “Joey is a far better man than you could ever be!” She stomped on his foot, then took off running as Mike cried out in pain. She was so grateful she hadn’t married Mike! She could only imagine the hell of a marriage she would have been stuck in if she had married him.  
She caught a cab and headed to Joey’s. She had to see him right away. Except, when she got to his place, she realized he wasn’t there. She frantically searched her mind, trying to think of where he could be. She hoped he wasn’t at a bar or out with another woman. Though, he usually brought the women back to his place and didn’t go back to theirs, she knew.  
She sighed. She then headed back out. She had one idea of where he might be, but if he wasn’t there, she guessed she’d just have to camp outside of his apartment until he showed up. She just hoped he wasn’t with another woman when he finally did show up. 

Joey sat on the fountain that he and Phoebe had made wishes at weeks ago. He was on the total opposite side of the park as Phoebe’s wedding was. He looked at his watch and realized she must be married by now. His heart broke even more. All his life he could never find any one he wanted to settle down with. Finally, he found one whom he was convinced was his soul mate, and now she was someone else’s soul mate.   
He sat there for a good half hour, just thinking of Phoebe. He thought of their past time together, and imagined the future they could have had together if only Mike weren’t in the picture.  
“Maybe I’m just not meant to find love,” he said sadly to himself.   
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Phoebe at down next to him on the fountain. “In fact, I think you’ve already found it.”  
Joey looked over at her in surprise. “Phoebe.”  
“I think we’ve both found it. I’m just sorry it took me so long to realize it was with you and not Mike,” Phoebe said, gently stroking his cheek.  
“You didn’t marry Mike?” he asked in surprise.  
Phoebe shook her head. “Monica and Rachel told me what happened. I know he cheated on me, and I know that is the real reason why you punched him.”  
Joey looked down at his lap. “I’m sorry. I should have told you the truth.” He then looked back up at her. “I just didn’t want to hurt you. He promised me he’d never cheat again.”  
“Well, I trust that about as much as I trust jumping from a plane with a broken parachute!” Phoebe said.  
They grinned at each other.  
“It doesn’t matter anyway. Before I even knew he cheated on me, I was going to call the wedding off,” Phoebe informed him.  
“Why?” Joey asked, honestly not knowing.  
“Because I realized I’m in love with somebody else,” Phoebe stated.  
Joey looked crestfallen. “You mean there’s another guy yet?”  
Phoebe laughed. “Yes! He’s sexy, he’s funny, he makes me laugh, and he’s the most caring guy I know. He’s sweet.”  
“How am I ever supposed to compete with that?” Joey asked. He was crushed. He really had thought he had a chance with Phoebe now that she had ditched Mike.  
Phoebe laughed, and gently took his chin in her hand so that he was forced to look in her eyes. “You don’t have to compete with him silly, because he’s you!”  
Joey thought about it, then it hit him. He grinned big. “Really?”  
Phoebe laughed. “Really!” She grew more serious then. “I love you, Joey. I really want to give you and me a go.” She took his hand in hers. “Let’s try a relationship between us and see where it goes.”  
Joey smiled sweetly. “I guess wishing on fountains really does work after all.”  
Phoebe raised an eyebrow. “Why the change of heart?”   
“Because my wish just came true.” Joey said to her.  
Phoebe smiled. “So did mine.”  
Joey slowly pulled her close to him then, and they kissed. It was an even better kiss than they had shared when they had kissed on Thanksgiving. It was better because this time it wasn’t making out. It was a kiss shared out of both pure love and a promise of a new beginning.  
Phoebe stood up then, and took his hand. “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t want to go home until I have the locks changed.”  
Joey stood up and kissed her again. “You can stay with me any time you’d like, Phoebs. I’m yours forever if you’ll have me.”  
Phoebe kissed him in return, her hands on each side of his face. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Tribbiani.”  
They grinned at each other, and then headed hand-in-hand back to Joey’s with Phoebe’s head resting on his shoulder, both of them so happy and eager to start this new chapter in their lives together.

The End


End file.
